Terry Tibbs

Guzumped talk to me! There I was in the log cabin concluding a deal with Busty for Jimmy Lynch & Main Man Rogers to be his team managers,when this dude in his XR3i shows up, shouting “sold it geezer! 1.5% commission, it didn’t even go on right move, where do I put my board?” Slick back hair, suit from Next and shiny shoes from Barrats! I couldn’t compare with such suave! Before I know it Busty offers him the job there and then! Main Man Rogers is heartbroken had his resignation to Mase typed up too! I’ve assured Main Man Rogers and Jimmy Lynch I’m slipping Busty a few hundred quid to sponsor the Stars next year! On the proviso that T Tibbs Motors Europe Limited’s operations director Jimmy Lynch is named Team Manager and our head of customer relations Main Man Rogers will be his assistant. I’ll even throw in a lovely Renault Clio Convertible for Big Dale! You know it’s a deal you can’t refuse Busty!!!

Dale Boy talk to me - Dale is a protege of Jimmy Lynch, possibly the finest manager of speed of all time, now in semi-retirement but working as a consultant for me at T Tibbs Motors Europe Limited, where is he advising me on everything Brexit and beyond. Jimmy's connections in Poland, Latvia and most recently the Ukraine, where he has introduced me to the stunning Sylvie who is now working alongside my lead Consultant Main Man Rogers on the production of bed time stories for the 7-10 year age group. Did you know that Main Man Rogers used to read Johnny C a bedtime story every day whilst his Dad Busty was busy on his tractor? Ah, back on topic, well Jimmy Lynch met with Dale at the Gymnasium where he and his tag team partner Big Blayne Scroggins were training to be wrestlers, they went on to have a some exposure on World of Sport under the guise of the Masked Marauders, taking a terrible beating from the Mums and Dads favourite Big Daddy and his tag team partner The Farmers Boy! Jimmy Lynch was their valet, accompanying them to the ring wearing a gold chain he borrowed from Boogaloo Bobby Schwartz and string vest that Totally Honest John lent him, honestly! Jimmy looked the part, but sadly a belly butt from Big Daddy saw him disappear over the top and he returned looking very shaken if not stirred by the experience! Thank you goodnight, much love!

Not getting it talk to me! I know the feeling Phillip, as I said to my 5th wife Bella just last night, I'm just not getting it. She quickly headed for the wardrobe, where I was expecting her to don that little short number I bought her off lovehoney.com last Christmas but instead when she opened the door, there were Main Man Rogers and Jimmy Lynch hiding, no wonder I haven't been getting it, those two old fools have been servicing her, whilst me and Christopher Mills have been grafting away at T Tibbs Motors Europe Limited HQ in Chingford! Thank you, goodnight, much love!

It's not too often that Terry Tibbs talks speedway these days but when I do, people say Terry you're still the man! So Kings Lynn fans talk to me! I've told Busty so many times that unless his brings back Main Man Rogers into the fold that the sport in the Fluxing Arena of Eastern England is on a slope more slippy, than the EU butter mountains. I had a lunch with little Johnny C in the Wimpy in Chingford High Street just last week, after 2 Milk Shakes and a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, little Johnny C agreed that there is only one man to bring back the glory days and that is Main Man Rogers! I have sent Busty a telex telling him he needs to quickly contact The Ace that is Mase and agree a deal for Main Man Rogers to return with immediate effect. The German chap was ever so nice, in fact my 4th wife Greta had a liaison with him once in Krystof Stojanowski's caravan in the car park of the Smallbrook Stadium on the Island of Wight, but that's a different matter for now! Answer me this, is there is a man with more credentials that Main Man Rogers - the answer is simply no! Look what he did for the career of Bomabardier Harris, turned him into a near GP Gold Meadlist. Don't forget what he did at Coventry Speedway, the way he mentored Big Blayne Scroggins into probably their greatest team manager of all time and of course his success at turning Mildenhall Fen Tigers from the FSO's of the sport to the BMW's! Talking of BMW's my valet boy Christopher Mills, is around to do a bit of spannering if any of you are looking for someone who is handy with a wrench, whilst my business Jimmy Lynch is busy with that wench Audrey he met at the Chinford British Legion just before lockdown in January 2020! But once again I digress. I could go on for hours, but we need to act fast Listen to Terry, bring back Main Man Rogers, Busty! Thank you, goodbye, much looove!!!

Testimonials talk to me! I am pleased to confirm that Terry Tibbs Motors (Europe) Limited are deep in conversation with Mr Kasprzak's UK Agent Mr Gordon Dayo with regards to the outsourcing of the promotion of this event to my specialist team of speedway consultants! Leading the team will be Pav Pavitt, he will leave no stone unturned to bring the very best riders to the meeting, What Pav Pavitt doesn't know about speedway racing to you could fit onto the back of Johnny C's hand, talking of Johnny C his dad Busty has kindly donated a lovely log cabin as a prize in the raffle! Pav Pavitt is currently deep in negotiation with the first rider to be named in this prestigious in fact I should say auspicious event another Krzysztof but one who was prepared to live in a caravan to earn his crust yes Mr Stojanowski is coming back for one night only! Only Pav Pavitt could pull off a deal like this, the proprietor of Pav Pavitt's Premium Phone Line and late night entertainment services, Pav Pavitt has negotiated deals more times than Matthew Ford has tinted his fringe. Supporting Pav Pavitt will be the legendary Main Man Rogers he's great with the kids and will be dressing as Super Ted, he used to keep the outfit in Norfolk and very often dressed in it before he read Johnny C a bedtime story. Main Man Rogers is a man greatly admired in the speedway world and his array of silverware will be on display in a cabinet next to the turnstiles on the day Lord Bryn Williams will be responsible for all press and publicity surrounding the event, he will also be judging the best dressed male on the day and the winner will be driven round the track by Lord Bryn Williams' loyal chauffeur Big Chris Jimmy Lynch will be at the helm of negotiating with sponsors and riders for the event, Jimmy loves a little oil massage from Gemini pre-meeting, she'll be stroking his moustache as she loves to hear him purr in her ear. Last but not means least my star boy and chief valeter Christopher Mills will be responsible for co-ordinations of the riders on the night, he will also be riding tandem with Henning Loof dressed in only his underpants My great friend One Dart Pearson has promised he will be bringing along some his greatest friends in sport on the evening, with Co Stompe, Rollerball Rocco and Konrad Bartelski already confirmed. The deals almost done Gordon Dayo just has to sign the contract, it's a great deal for Kasprzak, even he'll show up for this one, especially when he finds out that his personal chiropractor will be flown in for the evening and will be taken out shopping in the dolphin centre by Steven Shovlar. Come on Dayo sign that contract, there's £15000 in it for Kasprzak you drive a hard bargain Dayo, I might have to bring my chief negotiator Nikko Day (no relation) in on this matter ok ok Dayo it's £7500 plus a two night stay in Stojanowski's caravan in the IOW car park I will even throw in a complimentary nights viewing of Northern Lights channel 911 which is part of Pav Pavitt's empire, but you'll have to watch it on Lord Bryn Williams' old black n white TV. What do you say Gordon Dayo, tickle my chin, throw in an oil massage and a wiggly woo with those start line girls from Peterborough and Terry Tibbs will give you 50p sponsorship for Kasprzak event and that's my final offer Thank good night much love!

Jason Garrity, talk to me! Let me tell you this boy is good very good indeed, in fact he is so good that I have dispatched Main Man Rogers and Neil "Nikko" Day to watch this boy race in his meeting tomorrow, so the boy isn't under pressure too much, both Main Man Rogers and Neil "Nikko" Day will be in disguise. Main Man Rogers will be dressed as a clown, apparently he first got the suit when he was at Mildenhall and now it's very often seen in South Wales, whilst Neil "Nikko" Day will be dressed as Bungle from Rainbow, with my good friends Semion, Lord Bryn Williams and Gemini accompanying him as Rod, Jenny and Freddy. Terry Tibbs will then negotiate a deal with the boy Garrity, as I need someone to fill the buckets of water for Chris Mills that lovely Essex lad who cleans my cars every Wednesday and Sunday morning, and whilst young Mills polishes my Jags, he can teach the boy Garrity how to become a leading star in the sport of speed and as the boys eyes widen Neil "Nikko" Day will pounce with a lucrative contract to become part of the prestigious Team Nikko! Short and sweet from Terry today, as I am off to Moss Bros to get my suit for Friday, you'll see me sat next to Elton, in fact you'll probably see Elton sat on my knee. Just like Jonny C used to sit on Main Man Rogers' knee when he was growing up, when he read him his bedtime story I wish I could Fly by Keith Harris and Orville. That's why they call me Terry Tibbs. Thank you goodnight much love.

Terry Tibbs may have been keeping a low profile ever since Pav Pavitt held me against my will in Krzysztof Stojanowski caravan, whilst Gemini forced fed me black olives off Lord Bryn Williams' chest. It was a traumatic experience and worst of all Main Man Rogers could do nothing to help me, as he'd been tied to a chair by Lord Bryn Williams' minder Big Chris. But you can't keep a good man down for long, I didn't get to be the CEO of Terry Tibbs Motors (Essex) Europe Limited without a few hiccups along the way I can tell you. I'm back and with Pav Pavitt in permanent hiding since he sold Krzysztof Stojanowski's caravan and was seen leaving the Island of Wight car-park with £25k in a brief case, I tell you this £25k for that caravan what a piece of business by Pav Pavitt, although he is no longer my trusted friend, you have to take your cap off in admiration of what that man did on the Island of Wight. I am pleased to announce that after prolonged negotiations with my loyal friend Main Man Rogers, that Neil "Nikko" Day will be joining myself and Main Man Rogers on our 2011 tour of British Speedway racing establishments. Why Neil "Nikko" Day you may ask? let me tell you this, Nikko has negotiated more riders contracts than you’ve had girlfirends Derek Barclay! He’s a geezer with tasty line schmateh and the schpiel to match. Owner of Nikko Racing (UK) plc, he's got an impressive collection of speedway riders on his books, which has made him a millionaire agent. Nikko don't just settle for having pictures with any old woman, BODIFUL women only! He also likes a good investment, whether it's a Fwidge Fweezer, an Italian marble fireplace or a Mazewati Fweetasantwohundwed he's been there done that, got the hat and his belly reminds me of Pav Pavitt's. You don't just tickle Nikko's chin I can tell you, you pamper him, you seduce him, give him a free oil massage and he'll introduce to the Baseby brothers! Young Semion knows just how good Nikko is, let me tell you, Semion remembers the days when Main Man Rogers was grooming little Johnny C into being the fine respectable young man he is now and over the past few months Main Man Rogers has done the same with Nikko. And although Nikko is refusing act as agent for German Speaking Childminders he is spreading the word that Mildenhall Speedway will never reach the heights of when Main Man Rogers was at the helm. Thank you goodnight much love ps: I won't be around a week Friday I've been invited to a wedding.

Sandie, I'm stranded at the drive in, barnded a fool. Talk to me. Tibbs! I'll you give you Tibbs young Sandie. It's Mr Tibbs or Terry, only people who tickle my chin or give me a little wiggly woo in front of my JVC Video Camera can call me Tibbs. You drive a hard bargain Gemini, most girls would give their right arm to spend the night with Lord Bryn Williams and have Main Man Rogers babysitting their kids. But I like your style, here's the deal, Main Man Rogers will take the dogs for a nice walk round Cardiff City centre whilst you set up in the cubicle in the Prince of Wales toliets. Main Man Rogers has a lot of experience with grooming, particularly young pups. He used to walk that Loof lads dog over the fens in Suffolk, one hundred yards for every point he scored. Poor Dog only walked 400 yards in six months. I've just rung Pav Pavitt, he's done all a deal with all management committee to come and have a lovely oil massage Gemini, after you've rubbed them down they will pop by to Krystof Stojanowski's caravan to pick up a nice laptop supplied by Crouch # Name Removed #. Gemini talk to me, lets do the deal so that you are happy in your massage cubicle at Cardiff on Saturday. I'll give you 15 bags of bakers complete, 5 tins of Winalot and a box of chocolate doggy drops. OK OK, you drive a hard bargain Gemini 20 bags of Bakers, 10 cans of Winalot, two boxes of chocloate doggy drops, one of Lord Bryn Williams' Wulf Sport Jackets, Big Chris' chastity belt, Main Man Rogers' book on how to get the best out German speedway riders, A signed photo of One Dart Pearson, a set of replica Co Stompe darts and one month's free subscription to Pav Pavitt's Premium line services. Don't let me down Gemini, you can even wear your Pink Cowboy hat when Matthew Ford comes in for his rub down. You still want more, OK OK I'll get you the number of Silver Bee's dentist and that's my final offer. Thank you goodnight much love

VIP experience talk to me. Terry Tibbs, the owner of the Tibbs Motor Company is providing a VIP experience you will never forget, this Saturday 10th July. The venue Prince of Wales public house, Cardiff. I have some very special guests lined up for the occasion. My great friend Pav Pavitt will be alongside me, Pav Pavitt has more experience of hosting VIP speedway parties then young Benji Barker has pimples on his back. He's a geezer with tasty line schmateh and the spiel to match, Owner of Pav Pavitt Premium Phonelines Limited, you don't just jump into bed with Pav Pavitt, you take Pav Pavitt out to lunch, you wine and dine him, you give him an oil massage and then he gives you one weeks free access to Sky Channel 905, Red Hot Mums! Now talking of red hot mums, my great friend Gemini will be on hand, to give a hand, yes an oily hand to those wanting a little rub down. She is setting up her massage table in the men's toilets, just give my little Nigerian friend £2 for a spray of his Diesel After Shave and he'll let you into the disabled cubicle to meet Gemini. Also in attendance will be Main Man Rogers, a must meet for any youngsters, who need advice and guidance. He's great with kids, if you need a bedtime story read to them, Main man Rogers is your man. Johnny C didn't get to where he was today without Main Man Rogers' stories of Enid Blyton's Famous Five. Alongside Main Man Rogers will be Lord Bryn Williams, he is available to give fashion tips, especially those over 50, who feel they have become a little stale in their Wulf Sport jackets. I've agreed with the landlord of the Prince of Wales that Krzysztof Stojanowski's caravan can be parked in the back garden of the pub, Pav Pavitt is towing it over on the 8.36am ferry from Cowes to Southampton on Saturday and at 2.45pm on Saturday afternoon One Dart Pearson will be sat on the sofa of the caravan accepting visits from excited fans for an autograph. If you are lucky he will give you a signed picture of his great friend Co Stompe the Dutch darting legend. Krzysztof Stojanowski will be available himself for pictures on the camp bed that Lord Bryn Williams kindly donated back in 2005. Pictures will be taken by Lord Bryn Williams' chauffer and aide Big Chris, just £5 each or two for £12. All guests will get free entry to our , second prize a bedtime story with Main Man Rogers and third prize 4 laps on Chris Mills' bike, don't you go twisting the throttle too hard though. The friend of stars Steven Shovlar will be on hand to sign copies of his best sellingpublication Dorset Shipwrecks, price is usually £14.95 but for one day only on Saturday, £18.50 and a you get to sit on Steve Shovlar's lap whilst Big Chris snaps you, if he's busy in Krzysztof Stojanowski's caravan then you'll have to wait and chat with Semion who has kindly offered to take the money on Steve Shovlar's behalf. Entry to my exclusive area is just £250 and that includes a glass of vintage champagne donated by Main Man Rogers he'd bought it for the league title win of the Mildenhall Fen Tigers in 2008, those bloody Germans let him down so badly and don't even speak to him about the Finnish lads. However, if you talk to me, tickle my chin, donate some Vaseline for Gemini, introduce me to the Russian lads' mum I'll let you in for £500. Unless your name's Silver Bee, then entry for you my friend is 50p, as long as you wear your dentures, don't want any of those olives stuck in your teeth do we. No dentures, no entry. That's why they call me Terry Tibbs, much love.

Good old Main Man Rogers, he loves picking up the kids. He'll be taking them back to Krzysztof Stojanowski caravan which currently lies dormant in the car park of the Island Speedway, but have no fears Pav Pavitt has popped a nice little heater that Crouch # Name Removed # gave him for xmas in there (originally Crouch # Name Removed # was intending to give Pav Pavitt a laptop for xmas but thats another story), so those Swedish boys won't get too cold and just to make sure they are fully focussed before they depart for the meeting, Gemini will be round to give them a lovely oil massage. Whilst Main Man Rogers will do his best to keep those young Swedes occupied, they also have a lovely new dart board that One Dart Pearson has managed to procure from the organisers of the PDC World Darts Championship at the old Ally Pally in London. Not only will that dart board be proudly on display in Krzysztof Stojanowski caravan alongisde it will be a personally signed photo of Co Stompe, which One Dart has kindly donated from his own personal collection of pictures. Programme covers talk to me, there is no one better qualified than Pav Pavitt when it comes to programme covers, he has produced more programme covers than Pinstripe and SCB have used packets of tissues watching one of Shov Shovlar's DVDs they bought off ebay! He's a geezer with tasty line schmateh and the spiel to match. Pinstripe I'll give £1200 to design me a cover for my next glossy brochure, come and talk to Terry Tibbs. The proud owner of Tibbs Motors Limited, you don't just jump into bed with Terry Tibbs, you take Terry Tibbs out to lunch, you wine and dine him, you give him an oil massage and then he gives you £1950 if you’re lucky, tickle my chin Pinstripe, £2250, your a hard man to do business with Pinstripe, ok 50p and packet of a Smarties that's my final offer! That's why they call me Terry Tibbs Thank you goodnight and much love

Saturday Afternoon in Cardiff, talk to me! Pav Pavitt, Main Man Rogers, Gemini, Krzysztof Stojanowski and myself Terry Tibbs, the owner of Tibbs Motors Limited, you don’t just jump into bed with Terry Tibbs, you take Terry Tibbs out to lunch, you wine and dine him, you give him an oil massage then he gives you an introduction to Gemini if you’re lucky! So if you want to meet Gemini, keep an eye out for Terry Tibbs, Pav Pavitt, Main Man Rogers and The mighty Stoj. Don't tell Bryn Williams if you see us, he stalks that Stoj like he is best friend and Stoj needs to stay fully focussed for his assault on the Welsh Open on Sunday. Do not buy him a Vodka, he needs a clear head. But you can buy Terry Tibbs a pimms and lemonade, Pav Pavitt a Whisky mac, Gemini loves a little Gin and Tonic, whilst Main man Rogers is very a Pina Colada drinker. Anyone else going to the Steve Shovalr DVD trade fair before hand, opposite The Walkabout in Cardiff town centre. One Dart Pearson and Lord Tatum will be on hand to sign copies of the A-Z of Speedway MILF's. That's why they call me Terry Tibbs.

Accomodation, talk to me. I'll be staying in Krzysztof Stojanowski's caravan in the car park of Newport Speedway along with Pav Pavitt and Main Man Rogers. The Stoj will be make preparations for his eagerly awaited appearance at the Welsh Open on Sunday. Main Man Rogers will be giving Stoj a lovely oil massage on the Sunday morning. Before doing a little wiglly woo and taking Stoj to Frankie and Benny's up the road for a light lunch. That's why they call me Terry Tibbs. Thank you, good night, much love.

Bringing in a quality Polish lad, talk to me Krzysztof Stojanowski, is a lovely lad, Pav Pavitt first introduced him to me on the forecourt of the Osbourne Garage in East Cowes. Young Stoj spent many hours learning the British lingo from the voice of many speedway chatlines Mr Bryn Williams. Many an evening were spent in Stoj's caravan in the Smallbrook car park, as Bryn Williams taught him all he needed to know to survive in this country! I said to my good friend Pav Pavitt last night "Pav, that Stoj made the right move to quit riding for those Robins, spending too long in the company of Rosco Rossiter would have done the lads state of mind no good at all. He needs a real mentor, somebody who really knows how to manage a team. A Team manager who has bought success and trophies to every club he has managed. Yes Stoj needs to be taken under the wing of Main Man Rogers!" "Main Man Rogers is the man to re-kindle Stoj's love of our great sport" agreed Pav Pavitt "I know that Timmy Mallett agrees with me" Now as the successful proprietor of the TERRY TIBBS MOTOR COMPANY EUROPE LIMITED, I know a great businessman when I see one and that Timmy Mallett is an astute businessman! He knows the signing of Stoj will bring the armchair fans of South Wales flocking to back the stadium and not only that he has a nice little spot in the car park for Stoj's caravan! You can fit 5 wives in the back my Rolls Royce, but you can't fit a massage table as well and Main Man Rogers does like a little oil massage before every meeting! Pop that trestle table in Stoj's caravan and pull the curtains Main Man Rogers can be oiled down by that buxom tanya. A toned Main Man Rogers and fired up Stoj, will seduce the Newport public. Stoj to win the Welsh Open and his signing to be announced by Timmy Mallett in front of the thousands who will flock to Queensway to witness The Stoj's historic win! That's why they call me Terry Tibbs, thank you, goodnight and much love

Chris Brown Gold Watches talk to me. Terry Tibbs has worked for Terry Tibbs motor company for 42 years and 50 hour weeks well they are the norm, that's the trouble with the youth of today, they don't know what hard work is like. You need a break Chris Brown, come and join me, Pav Pavitt and Main Man on our trip to New Zealand. Daily oil massages from Maori girls and serenading scantily clad beauty's on the beach by night. I'll give you £500 for your gold watch Chris Brown, now go forth be strong, do a little wiggley woo and tell your boss that Terry Tibbs works as many hours as you each week. You don’t just jump into bed with Terry Tibbs, you take Terry Tibbs out to lunch , you wine and dine him, you give him an oil massage then he gives you £250, yes £250 for that Watch Chris Brown and a discount on Pav Pavitt's premium rate phone lines. I'll give you £200 for that watch and that's my final offer. And that's why they call me Terry Tibbs. Thank you goodnight much love.