Jump to content
British Speedway Forum
Phil

Jokes...

Recommended Posts

Met an old mate in the pub last night and asked him what he's up to these days.

'I'm preparing meals for the homeless, drunks and druggies'.

'Wow that's great' I said 'You working for the Salvation Army then?'

'Nah, Wetherspoons'.

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
9 hours ago, Crumpet91 said:

 

Is Hermes the one where you just have to have a car?

Share this post


Link to post
15 hours ago, Crumpet91 said:

 

You don't have DHL on this.

Or as they are known here as Dropit Hideit Looseit

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post

A BOXING DAY POO

You sit upon the toilet
With everything prepared
You're feeling quite excited but
A little bloody scared!

That huge amount of Christmas nosh
Has turned into a log
And now the fateful time has come
To flush it down the bog!

But first you must expel the beast
And so you start to strain,
You bite down on a piece of wood
To take away the pain

But oh my god, its bloody huge
It's like you're giving birth!
You sweat and push and swear and shake
and strain for all your worth.

And then that magic moment comes,
That fills your soul with cheer,
A turd the size of King Kongs arm
Emerges from your rear.

And like a bomb it hits the pan
Thus lightening your mood,
And making room inside your guts
For lots more Christmas food!

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

Lidl (USA) are recruiting for a new head office. It's being built in the green hills of Minnesota.
Applications to;
Lidl House
On The Prairie

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

China has fired up a new giant 1,000 MW coal plant, the largest under construction. If you're eating fake meat to save the planet, you have just been offset a million times. :D

Share this post


Link to post

Some good news to start the year with Tony Blair finally getting his knighthood .Not before time.

Post copied into more appropriate thread.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post

Alex Belfield talking about viagra tablets - “ you have to swallow them quickly otherwise you’ll get a stiff neck !”

:D

Share this post


Link to post
Posted (edited)

A  train from Manchester to London broke down recently , the driver radioed ahead,   he said ' Euston we have a problem '

Edited by Seymour Dix
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post

img

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. Privacy Policy