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Phil

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A bloke picks up a bird in a disco. After a couple of dances she says “ Come outside and I’ll show you a good time”. So he he goes outside with her and she runs 100 metres in 10.2 seconds :party:

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Posted (edited)

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Apologies for the language, I couldn't edit it !!

 

Edited by jrs
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So I said to the waitress..."Can I ask about the menu please?"

She screamed back "the men I please are none of your business!!!"

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May be an image of outdoors and text that says "Police in Liverpool pulled over a local lad and were amazed to find the car taxed Μ.Ο.Τ. tested and insured. It wasn't stolen and there were no stolen goods or drugs found. The driver was sober AND He had a full licence and no points. A police spokesman said, "We had no option but to fine him £80 for wasting police time." DEEJUF DNS4 POLICE"

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I bought a deodorant stick today. The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom. I can hardly walk but when I fart the room smells lovely.

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A naked man with a girl on his back went to a fancy dress party as a turtle. When someone asked who she was he said Michelle.

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I went out for a Pelican curry last night. The food was great but you should have seen the bill.

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Two elephants met a naked man. After a while one elephant said to the other, I don’t know how he feeds himself with that thing.

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I opened my birthday card today and a load of rice fell out. I knew at once who sent it... it was my Uncle Ben.

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