TotallyHonestJohn

It was a behind closed doors; VIP; invite only; practice session that started at 18.30 and if I had seen you when I drove through Cornhill around 17.30 tonight I could have brought you along as I had a spare ticket and with you being the Cornhill VIP (Village Idiot Person) you qualified but Cornhill was like a ghost town... The guys looked quick as they usually do riding on there own or in pairs but the most impressive thing was the track with an extra metre and a bit down each straight on a nice new kerb line and the bends opened out slightly with a surface as smooth as the proverbial "Babies Bottom".... The other noticeable thing was the race downhill to the entrance of the third bend where the dip and hump used to be; well this has vanished... if it stays like that the racing will be even better than ever... Big well done to the promotion as the racing strip now looks fantastic... it looks like there has been a great deal of effort put in to produce what looks like a tremendous racing circuit and it is such a shame on a warm July night that the place is in lock-down and the genuine Speedway fans of Berwick can't get there racing fix... Once the place opens up I think the track will offer up some great entertainment... Oh and in deference to the poster lollolmmmmmlol slobber slobber slobber mmmmmmlollol... Regards THJ

Spot on... but the Doggy people who own the spot are the ones who are saying no... they don't want to jeopardise the revenue from having dog meetings in a closed stadium with no punters in managing a controlled environment; to a one where there is a case of Covid traced back to a Speedway meeting where fans have been let in because it is the stadium that will be closed to the public not the Speedway element in isolation; so they would then loose that revenue for the potential two week lock down through no fault of their own making... If that makes sense? Regards THJ

Unfortunately you bought the "soft soap" there Geoff as they come in Gross boxes (i.e. 144 pieces) when we done "Cadbury World" many years back with the kids we were told "it was because a Flake was made up with 99 layers of chocolate and this was an ad campaign in the 30s" and the other story we got was that "the Flake was number 99 on the order form of Cadbury's products" both of which I suspect are the same as the "99 in a box" quote... Just BS... Regards THJ

Howay Geoff As ever Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/99_Flake has an entry for the 99 It says "anything really special was known as 99". Jenga is a definite "99" as they don't come much more special Regards THJ

You bad man ... a wouldn't want the skin off his... Shhhh... ... Rice pudding... let alone a 99... An that was typed through clenched teeth.... Honest... Regards THJ

Not with eating anything produced out of a Wok that's for sure.... however I also have a Wok but I tend to use it to iron my shirts... Regards THJ

A don't think ya wrong Ruff they might never get a vaccine and then we are waiting for it to burn itself out which as you state could take years... We ain't in a good place and these world governments need to start sorting themselves out starting with the Chinese one educating their own people with regard to wild animal markets and using various parts of other animals for medicine... it's the 21st century FFS a Tigers Todger ground up and taken as an aphrodisiac a mean to say... they can get Viagra over there why butcher a Tiger... No need... Regards THJ

Yes they do...

Don't think so when the stadium is empty... then if the handlers and trap loaders socially distance the risk is further limited... Honestly think all dog tracks will be looking at the various risks... lots of money generated from gambling... much less from Speedway I would suggest... Regards THJ

Honestly Bad news I'm afraid... No Speedway at Brough this season... its been taken out of the promotions hands... The dogs don't want to risk (or jeopardise) the bags meetings because if there is a Covid outbreak the place will be locked down for two weeks... So that's all folks... Roll on 2021 and hopefully a vaccine for this Covid carry on and back to some sort of normal and not this new normal hydraulics... Sorry to be the bearer of bad news Regards THJ Oh and just as a PS edit... Birmingham could be in the same situation because they have the same landlord...

Oh dear... a give up... Wigton and Silloth... lol... the thoughts of you being the geordie cultual attache to the Cumbrian West Coast sends shivers down me spine... Regards THJ

Not wot your kid says mind... reckons he got the good looks... an he said ya mother used to tie a pork chop round ya neck just to get the dog to play wid ya.... Just wot a woz told like... Regards THJ

Now a know ya lying as ya far to ugly for either sex to bother with xxx

Exactly...

Just the way I had written the post and I though when you stated that "This is why it read the Newcastle thread" you may have been a former pupil of Walker Comprehensive School... Never mind and apologies for a feeble pun that fell flat on its ass... Regards THJ

Oh... ex Walker Comp Alumni? Regards THJ

Mal a cud quite easly dee yor way of spellin an dee all me posts in pig Latin or Walka-eese but the wud be nee one else oot side of Walka who wud undastand wot a was on aboot de ya kna wot a mean... not ivery body has a lorn ya sel jawdee buik to transorloate me woreds back inta England like de ya kna wot a mean...kna... Just think of them big woreds an lang paragraffs as me gift to ya in helpin wid ya edyoukayshon that you wud have got at skool had ya not knocked off all the time when you woz a kid like de ya kna wot a mean... smokin fags roond the back of them bike sheds wid ya laal prison rollies thinkin ya war a big shot... aye we kna... But the paragraffs git nee shorta cos am a gregarious porson... (reet av stopped ritein so ya can go an look up gregarious... goan an git ya dikshonary oot an look it up) reet noo reed on Keep lickin the winda Biffa yall git there eventueallie... Al me luv an best wishez... Buttered Scone...

Honestly You don't need to crawl off anywhere Biffa and it's now 9 month since I have seen anyone from the Speedway other than a few regulars and when I am at the Speedway I am prone to having several sherbits and speaking to a great many people so no neeď to take umbridge... the offer is genuine come and say hello and jog my memory it'salways easier to put a name to a face... and I can't remember arguing with anyone over Sponsorship especially with Mr Phillips as 1. I don't hold grudges and 2. Every conversation I had with Martin was instantly forgettable... but honestly I çant remember arguing with him and anyone else being in attendance and I'm not denying that it happened but the demon drink definely destroys the old memory cells so you have my sincere apologies because if you were arguing with MP you can't be all that bad... Well for a Mackum that is... Sorry couldn't help me self... Regards THJ

Oh... Honestly and to be fair it's got nothing to do with being "outed" as most folk know who I am especially at Newcastle and Workington... and a few folk at other clubs too... so much so that I started to list them here but it got to quite a few so I didn't want to waste the ink (sic) (Oh and by the way Mal there is a "u" in the buy as to purchase)... so it's no big secret who I am that's for sure... and it's no skin off my nose who knows either I couldn't give a "flying fig" Furthermore you need to look up the definition of "tittle tattle" and it might be gossip... and especially for the benefit of a forum... but what I post can all be substantiated... however because of paranoia over keeping their identities secret, some of the sources can not be shared in respect of some people's wishes to remain anonymous... my aim is to debunk some of the "tittle tattle" that abounds this forum or at least try and generate some genuine debate... as for "exaggerated" you will have to give me an example and I will see if I can defend my comments... and if you want to know where the information is coming from all it takes is a PM and I am happy to share... I'm 100.percent behind this promotion and think that Rob Grant is a breath of fresh air... and unlike many I want him to succeed... I am pro Speedway first and foremost and want the sport to survive and I want it to survive in the North East/West... I was gutted when Worky folded and when it looked like Newcastle were going the same way my name was in the hat to buy the spot but I stepped aside when I heard Rob was going for it and apart from us two and possibly one other "tyre kicker" as I was led to believe there was no one else stepping into the breach.. however being of a different character and management style to previous promoters I would have been happy to engage on here so you would still get your 100 pages unfortunately... however if you dont like any of it dont read it... Finally as we stand near each other at Newcastle why don't you come and introduce yourself rather than hide behind a nom de plume and we can put a name to a face... you know who I am as you have stood or sat next to me at Newcastle Worky and Redcar apparently... and like a said in a previous post I'm not proud I'll even talk to a Mackum... Honest... Regards THJ

Oh well there ya go that was worth listening to eh... looks like my mates mate who works down the chippy was spot on with that rumour then eh... It's good to talk like eh... so to all those debators' out there keep on mass debating... You know it makes sense... Regards THJ

Well well well Fame at last... looks like I have had a good posting (or is it pasting) being mentioned no less by name on the Newcastle track staff facebook forum page.... Stating that I knew all about the speedway allegedly losing Sunday racing.... Well the truth can always come out if anyone wants a PM... I did offer... but it would be best if the main protagonists (plural) remain anonymous... and there is no value in me going public... Now I was as pleased as anyone with the club announcement but ya talk about cracking a walnut with a sledgehammer.... well I say that but it was more like a Road Runner cartoon sketch with a one ton weight dropping from a great height onto a peanut... wow... The whole idea of getting the situation out there was to generate debate after all this is first and foremost a debating forum FFS... isn't it? I will stand corrected if I am wrong... So to see how strong people felt with regards to moving away from our historical and spiritual home and what other options were available the information was opened up to the masses on the forum ... the same masses who.usually scream "We want knowledge" "We need to know what is going on" then when the information is made public the whole world caves in... 1. If it had of happened the cry would have been why weren't we told anything... whaaaa... 2. No publicity is bad publicity... keep the club name out there at every opportunity... keep the debate moving... don't try the big brother routine to stifle the debate... just because the place is being talked about that doesn't have to mean it's a bad thing... 3. There was a comment about not getting volunteers to do various jobs... has anyone asked? By that I mean a formal approach (to anyone) not a general WIM on here... WIM "woe is me" I/we can't get anyone to do anything... here's a suggestion... get out of the cliques as that is what ultimately destroyed the previous promotions over the last 10 years... Baby-arsed grudge bearing chip on the shoulder in fighting suck holing attitudes don't wash with me I'm afraid... 4. I'm happy to help, anything from electrical assistance as an electrical engineer, first aider, turnstile attendant to selling programmes or raffle tickets, running a beer tent, or food stall, or track shop, Starting Marshall (only if ya off Phil) to shovelling shale or washing/brushing the air fence between races, pushing bikes off to waving a red flag on the centre green if we are ever short of one of them. I'm not proud. 5. Furthermore I am happy for the club to use my company suppliers for materials if that saves them money and I am happy to put money into the club in the form of sponsorship.... Ask FFS you can only be told no... to proud to ask or frightened of rejection? By the way my cash went in way back in February before Lock Down and I ain't been on here bitchin for it back unlike some others moaning about clarty season ticket money... however that may be reviewed... because the more the fat lad gets poked the more annoyed he gets... I want the place to thrive and I am happy to put my money where my mouth is and I am happy to support the promotion in anyway shape or form that I can and it won't be by bitching and back biting at what they are trying to achieve that's for sure... However what I will add... all you will get is the truth (unless I am taking the Mickey but you will know when that happens) at no time will I pee up your leg and try and tell you it's raining... So if any Facebook fannies or warriors want to assume what I am thinking or trying to second guess what I know or what I have been told... why not get in touch first and I will give it to you first hand.... after all you all know who I am... Regards John...

Honestly You're not wrong... Classic comedy with Lee Evans playing you know who... Regards THJ

Honestly He never had any demons Mal... if he's got them; then we have them in spades... when he told me the craic I was in tears laughing... bottom line was he was on "strong painkillers" and during lock-down he thought it would be a good idea to try a bit of the Scottish tipple; you know just to break the boredom... and unfortunately forgetting about the pills he was on! well the Rye and tablet mixture got him very (very) (very) drunk; and in this "Crissed as a Picket" state or "nissed as a pewt" (take your pick on terms) (https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Crissed as a picket) it was in this "Kaylied" state that he had the good idea to go for a jog (as you do); and because it was a warm night he thought he would take his kit off and put on his running gear; now this is where it got interesting; because although he thought he had put on his jogging kit he was in fact bollock naked; Now.... although most the neighbours saw the funny side of this (well all except one who chased him and threatened to cut his toggle off with a wooden sword) with one of the seven dwarfs running round as nature intended (Hairy Dwarf!!!! he didn't make the final cut for the film) the local constabulary were not impressed in the slightest so after a five mile run (told you he was looking fit) around the local manor they finally caught up with him and gave him bed and breakfast. Normally that's where the story would end but in disbelief our little hirsute friend said he didn't believe what had happened as he had no recollection of what he had done; so he thought it would be a good idea to repeat the experiment and lo and behold the same thing happened again... and off went hairy dwarf full of pills and whisky for a long jog round the Broomfield area and the local paper said when he went missing he was wearing grey/blue shorts and a black cycling top. Well that may have been what he went out in but in no time at all he was in back his birthday suit as nature intended and he was off running again; Only thing was he went further this time and it was some "considerable" time before the local plods caught up with him; again they were not impressed and gave him B&B status at the local police station. Once again "Wor Chris" who was now wondering why the local law enforcement agency were picking on him for going jogging... just couldn't understand for the life of him what the hell was going on and why he was getting lost on his jogging exploits and ending up in the local police station wearing clothes from the lost property box... and when it was explained to him what he was doing... well... he just wouldn't have it; no; not me he said; you are just making it up; I am out jogging and getting lost and coming in here for directions and you are locking me up for breaking lock-down... I will look into this... said our hero... So they gave him a ride home in one of their taxis with a blue light on the top and said enough is enough... Again any normal drunk would have believed what they were being told; but did our hero... not on your life... tenacious laal bollock if nothing else... where's that Scotch... I can drink me.... its never done this to me before said Plonky McPlonk Face definitely not appreciating that the pills were interacting wildly with the drink... So "Our Man Flint" the "Man of Steel" has a third go at this bottle of Scotch (now to be fair Mal I have drank with Chris in the past and his JD used to be 9/10ths Diet Coke; that's how lightweight he is; and as a southern softy it was usually a lager top with again a large pull on the lemonade) but fair play he was giving it a go for the third night running and KaPow... the concoction kicks in and "Gypsy Rose Lee Schramm" starts his usual escapade... strips down to his birthday suit and away... Yehaw... he is off running again; now this is where the plot thickens... the local plods turn up in numbers knowing where to find our man and shout at him; he turns and sees what is going on; he immediately stops running and calmly walks up to the policemen holding out his wrists for the fitting of the manacles... our friendly PC's say "what's up lad did you not fancy the chase tonight" and he said "Yes no problem I could out run you "Fat B's" no problem but when I seen those two Alsatians I thought better of it"... (coming to his senses I would say) So this is the third night running that our hero as "cocked a snoot" at the long arm of the law but as ever they got the last laugh... because they dragged a Doctor in and told the Doc what had happened the previous two nights and the Doctor sectioned him... (Oops) so he had to sit and explain to all and sundry for the next four days/three nights what had gone on... and of course the concoction he had in his system was well and truly washed through... Once they got to the bottom of what had actually went on they changed his Med's... and now would you believe it... Chris is tea total (Haha)... So Demon's nah.... Thick... Well... you make your mind up... but he's not the first to get ratted and do something stupid now is he; (how many times have you pooped your pants being seven shades to the wind? Honest now) and running round in the buff certainly doesn't make him a bad person in my book... In fact ask me old pal Cookie... But me Granny had a saying "Thick as mince in a bottle" and in this instance I think the cap definitely fits... But to be totally honest when he was telling me the story and doing all the actions in here the other day I'm sure a bit pee come out I was laughing so much. The rest of the office thought we were having a party and they were laughing at me laughing not knowing what the hell was going on... Funny funny funny... and what it is all about for me... good craic and being able to have a good laugh... (and for most folk having a few beers... But not for Chris because he is a very Naughty Boy who nearly had his Nachos ripped off by two Alsatians and is now tea total)... Happy days... I suppose the moral of the story is "No matter how bored you get try not to mix pills and Whisky" its like a dwarf with learning difficulties "its not big and its not clever" Regards THJ

Well had a visit today for a cuppa of our very own Chris Schramm.... He was looking well... still got that beaming smile and we had a good chat and a better laugh... He's doing well... keeping fit and busy.... and two hours went over in what seemed like 10 minutes... really pleased to see him and it brightened a crappy Monday... Regards THJ

Yep think you are spot on and again right as it was definitely frowned upon in the past... No back the one that has a dump... a kilo lighter definitely gives the hound an edge... No again but he did tell me that Elvis had left the building ... Regards THJ