Mr. Clemens

No it's the same length I had it measured to by the 'government's weights and measures' department before reposting I just corrected a few spelling mistakes and corrected the quote by leonard cohen as I knew it wasn't correct the moment I first posted it >>> which makes it half an inch longer than previous >>> tops I don't mean to make them so long >>> they just >>> take on a life of their own >>>

Reflections on the opening of a grave The interview concerning Michael Lee makes very interesting reading bringing to the surface many thoughts concerning speedway of yesterday and today. Thoughts lying dormant till the moment of reading this article. Michael Lee was young lad of 17, with great natural talent, who stunned the Speedway world with his debut in 1975. For supporters this was the heralding of the dawn of the new breed of speedway world champions, being groomed for the 1980's, to follow on from the Mauger, Olsen, Collins, Michanek, Szczakiel era. In effect the 'Big Five' of the 1970's Ivan timed his sixth title to perfection by winning in 1979, saying 'that'll do for me', then handing the baton to the 'new breed' of world champions elect the first one who just happened to be Michael Lee. Michael Lee therefore became the embodiment of the passing of the world championship baton from one era to the next. But has Michael describes, the baton fell from his hand and he has struggled ever since to understand how and why. Each person has their reasons for stating why things turn out as they do and Michael Lee has his. Whatever is said about what people thought about Michael Lee there are those who saw him as the great rider he was and not the 'foolish' man that people like to depict him has. The indication in this article is that the speedway authorities were against Michael Lee. Indeed they were perceived by some supporters to be exactly that. But Michael Lee was a 'victim' perhaps of circumstances way beyond his control. Circumstances that it's not surprising that he did not understand, because they originated outside the sport of speedway. The political and social times were changing, heralded by the Oil Crisis in 1973. Times that had remained fixed in a certain mode since the end of World War Two when everything eventually came to develop a 'certainty' about it in an uncertain world. By the 1980's, however, the world was heading for a period of change culminating in the collapse of communism in the USSR and a release from the political and financial constraints that created that 'certain' sense of security behind the supposed threat of nuclear war. 'Protected' by this umbrella of thought people went about their daily lives 'certain' of the world they lived in. Therefore everything was in order and a 'certain' spirit of being was abroad in the western world. This spirit being of the nature that 'nothings going to change our world' sang the Beatles whose world had already changed and would do so again in 1980 with the death of John Lennon. The political scene changed in Great Britain in the 1980's. Mrs Thatcher decided it was time for everyone to have a good dose of 'the cold facts of reality' as an antidote to the unrealities of life brought about by the Cold War. Realising that the Soviet Union was a 'paper tiger' without a leader of the magnitude of Joseph Stalin to hold it together, Thatcher understood that it was now possible to make sweeping changes in the way people thought about society and how it worked. 'The dream is over', as John Lennon so succinctly put it!!! Thatcher proceeded to take us all back to the 19th century, back to those golden days when the capitalist entrepreneurial spirit reigned supreme. A time when everyone was rich and no one suffered from poverty and everything was wonderful. Read Charles Dickens to find out how wonderful it really was. Thus the political times change and so does the society that politicians 'represent'. Sport reflects society and how it works. As the times change so changes the 'spirit' within which sport is played and supported. Why did Michael Lee drop the baton passed to him by Ivan Mauger? Because he was caught up within the changing of the times and the passing of the 'spirit' of the sport from one way of 'experiencing' speedway to another type of 'spirit altogether? Businessmen were now free to make as much money as quickly as possible in any way they could. Making money was what life was all about now, nothing else. Those with the entrepreneurial spirit were the new rulers of the world and the way people thought. The customer was no longer there to be 'served and entertained' and given 'value for their money'. The customers were simple a necessary 'cog in the machinery of capitalism', their sole purpose to pay as much money for the least possible return on production cost. Ivan Mauger had shown the speedway rider the way forward in the 1970's. Ivan wasn't satisfied with the bleak, dark and dirty post war image of the speedway rider known then as 'the Black Sport' in Poland. Mauger came over to the UK in the early 1960's and went back to New Zealand with his 'tail between his legs' as a 'failure' unlikely to be seen on these shores again. But Ivan's time in the UK wasn't wasted he had understood what it took to be a successful speedway rider and applied the lessons learned in his riding back home in New Zealand. He also understood what speedway needed to do to cast off the image of a sport that belonged to the past. A new dedicated professionalism from those who rode and promoted speedway. And all of this must be presented in full living colour. On his return to the UK Ivan Mauger was 'a born again' speedway rider, in tune with the times and a step or two ahead of them. Gone were the black leathers of the old 'Black Sport'. Ivan was positively psychedelic, compared to those riders who still adhered to the tried and tested ideals of racing and presentation of themselves, which had served them well during their careers. Ivan Mauger might well be the first one to admit that Ove Fundin was possibly the greatest speedway rider that has ever been. Legend are the tales of the great man who never had sponsorship, rode the track spare at Norwich, won a world title with a broken leg and signed Mr. Clemen's world championship program at Ullevi in 1977. But Ivan Mauger realised that he could 'top' Fundin's record of five world titles by aspiring to a level of professionalism previously unheard of in speedway. Television previously presented programs to people in dull unmemorable 'two-dimensional' black and white but enthralled people with their '3 D' colourful programs. Sport being one of the main beneficiaries displaying their wares in 'full living colour'. The public responded to this new 'colourful spirit' injected into their lives. People remember things that have depth and colour and remind them of an eternal 'today' and 'forget' those two dimensional black and white images depicting events of ancient history. Ivan Mauger likewise wanted to make this sport a 'colourful' sport by injecting this new colourful 'spirit' into speedway, hand in glove with the 'spirit' of dedicated professionalism. An unbeatable combination that Mauger knew, if he could equal or surpass Fundin's record, would keep him 'as fresh as today in peoples minds' for who knows how many years to come? The perceptive Ivan Mauger knew all this and the equally perceptive Ove Fundin realised that Mauger knew all this too. Fundin it is said had (and still has) a dedicated 'will to win', to be first, to be number one. Fundin was the ultimate expression of the old 'Black Sport' the embodiment of the 'spirit' to win and to be the first among equals. The other 'equals' being Barry Briggs, Peter Craven, Ronnie Moore and Bjorn Knuttsson making up the 'Big Five' World Champions who dominated speedway from 1954-1967 inclusive. In that 'spirit' Fundin won four world titles and became the first man to win three titles, the first man to win four titles and eventually the first man to win five titles. Fundin was a speedway rider who was the 'leader of the gang of five', in every way. But Ivan Mauger didn't want to be 'the first among equals'. Ivan Mauger wanted to stand head and shoulders above the 'crowd' and be regarded as the 'Grand Master Supreme' unequalled by anyone anywhere and likely to remain so for all time. In order to do this Mauger had to prove the point that 'professionalism' in speedway was the future and he was prepared to accept the derision of riders, promoters and supporters alike to ram home his point of view. The writing was already on the wall, even as Fundin imagined he had put the record, of world titles gained, certainly beyond reach of his contemporaries. Fundin no doubt was hoping that he had set the 'benchmark' that would take years for anyone to equal or surpass. But even as Fundin set this record, Ivan Mauger was already looking over his shoulder finishing in third place in 1967. Mauger made inroads into Fundin's record with his magnificent triple world title wins 1968 - 1970. This being the reason why Fundin 'emphatically and decisively' beat Mauger in that historic race in the World Team Cup of 1970. 'You might be the new kid on the block Ivan, who may well equal my record, but this is to show you and all concerned who is the true 'Grandmaster of Speedway' and I will leave you all with this memory, as a constant reminder of that fact'. Fundin advised Ole Olsen in the 1971 world final to make sure Mauger didn't make it four on the trot and then 'God forbid' five times on the trot!!! Just in the same manner Mauger advised Hans Neilsen, Eric Gundersen and Mark Loram among others. It's all about protecting the record and maintaining the status of grand masters of the sport. By 1979 Ivan Mauger's professionalism and dedication to his craft brought about the fulfilment of all he had set out to do. For these were not dreams but a set of principles he formulated, lived by and brought to completion when obtaining his sixth world title. Achieved in a manner that could not be questioned by anyone. As a result, leaving those who concern themselves with matters of principle in speedway to debate who between Fundin and Mauger was actually the best rider. An ambiguous thing that no one can determine, as Fundin might have been better on Monday at Norwich but not as good as Mauger on Saturday at Belle Vue. But has Duane Eddy said 'the twangs the thang' and Ivan Mauger won 6 world titles and Ove Fundin won five. So why didn't Michael Lee emulate Fundin or Mauger? No one doubts for a moment that Michael Lee had the talent and the ability to become a multiple world champion. The first most definitely since Peter Craven, which isn't to denigrate the single world championship of Peter Collins, which stands between Craven's 2nd and Michael Lee's title win. The difference between Collins and Lee being the 'sense' that Peter could have won more world titles and the 'sense' that Michael would have won more world titles. And there were those who thought that after his 'unexpected' first world title win in 1955, that it was unlikely that Peter Craven would win a second. Michael Lee did in fact win another individual world title becoming World Longtrack Champion in 1981. Michael Lee was has professionally prepared, presented and has dedicated to speedway as Ivan Mauger. Otherwise how could he have won two world titles, one year after the other, against more favoured and even more 'colourful' speedway riders? No one would argue that Michael Lee wasn't has 'colourful' as Ivan Mauger but certainly in a different sense than he was. But why was he regarded as the 'enfant terrible' of the sport. This was because Michael Lee had lived and breathed motorcycle racing from birth. He travelled with his father on his trips to race in Motocross meetings and came into contact with the 'spirit' of that sport understood it, embraced it and recognised it was there in speedway too. Times were changing however and the general 'spirit' of the times and how people thought and lived took on a different meaning. The spirit of 'avarice and greed' took over from the spirit of 'make do and mend'. Thus the players of Liverpool football club, in the process of becoming four times winners of the European Cup in effect 'made do' on a pittance, in the 'spirit' of playing for the love of the sport itself. Whereas from 1979 on, the footballer was fast developing into a 'highly paid, highly professional commodity' heralded by the one million pound transfer of Trevor Francis from Birmingham to Nottingham Forest. Doing everything for financial gain was seen as the 'new spirit' and prime motivation of people and was fast becoming accepted normal practice in life. The principle being we live in a world now where if you work long and hard you will reap the rewards of your endeavours become a mini entrepreneurial capitalist and become relatively richer, in proportion, than you were under the previous order of things. Ove Fundin's legend implies that he embraced 'make do and mend' made money but didn't become rich from the speedway, despite all his five individual world titles and all his other gold medals besides. Ivan Mauger's legend implied he would have benefited from the 'avarice and greed' befitting 'a highly paid, highly professional commodity' but found himself stood on the bridge separating these two worlds from each other. Ivan Mauger was 'born too late' to be just another competent rider competing in the 'Black Sport' and 'born too early' to capitalise on the 'vast riches' to be had with embracing the new 'capitalist spirit' breathing life into the 'brave new entrepreneurial world', of the 1980's. But Ivan sensed all this was coming and laid down the paving stones of the road speedway riders following in his wake would have no choice but to take. What financial rewards would Ivan have gained if he had won the third of his triple- crown achievement in 1980 rather than in 1970 and completed his career with his sixth title in 1989? It must have been galling for him to be finishing his career at the very moment that this potential 'promised speedway land of financial milk and honey' opened up to those beginning their racing careers. But this promised speedway paradise was an illusion. Just has the concept that everyone was going to be rich was, when recession knocked the bottom out of all these hopeless thoughtless dreams. Those who despised Ivan Mauger, for taking away from them their 'Black Sport' of blessed memory, paid him back in kind, by refusing to get to grips with the new professionalism he had brought to the sport during his career. Speedway had got by on 'make do and mend' for fifty years and would continue to do so. There was no reason to change. The paying public came through the turnstiles in satisfactory numbers keeping speedway ticking over nicely as a viable business. There was no need to promote speedway and capitalise on it with a well thought out, planned campaign, to attract a wider public via expensive sponsorships, television and media coverage. Speedway didn't need to become 'a highly paid, highly professional commodity'. Speedway didn't need dragging into the world of 'avarice and greed' thank you very much. Speedway was doing all right as far as the promoters were concerned, because the paying public said it was, by showing up at the stadiums every week in satisfactory numbers. Speedway was doing all right and would continue to do all right despite not because of Ivan Mauger and his new colourful professionalism making demands all over the place. Telling folk what he was going to do and not going to do. Demanding a plane to fly him from his home to ride in Exeter in home meeting only. ('Tha must be bleedin' joking mate'). But they did it because they had to do it because Ivan Mauger was the number one representative of the sport. He had put himself in the position 'to make demands' by applying professionalism and dedication to all he did. Ivan Mauger made those demands firstly to reap the rewards he felt his due, but also to further the interests of the sport itself. Ivan knew he had to have a 'career' after his riding days were over. Speedway was what Ivan was all about and what better way would there be to cement his status as the 'Grand Master Supreme' But those who promoted the sport didn't like Ivan and his 'demands' on them when he was a rider. Ivan was a rider who had to be listened to when he spoke to promoters because of his legendary status in the sport. But stepping over to the other side of the fence was a different speedway race altogether. Ivan was stepping onto their speedway circuit and he was most certainly not going to be allowed to become 'Grand Master Supreme' in the ruling bodies of the sport. (So he b*ggered off t'Gold Coast of th'Australia instead >>> where he lived happily ever after >>> till Tony Rickardsson came along and upset th'bleedin applecart' chuckled wicked old senile myopic Uncle Mr Clemens), And it was all these ingredients of a speedway cake that Michael Lee was expected to digest. He was expected to be a world champion in the mould of Ivan Mauger. 'But seeing has you're a kid 'wet behind the ears', a talented kid we will give you that, but a kid nonetheless. You will do as you're told and receive what we regard as your due. Who do you think you are anyway Ivan Mauger'??? Michael was expected to perform in the professional manner laid down in the Ivan Mauger code of practice. Michael did so and asked for his reward and it wasn't forthcoming. Mauger had told speedway what it was going to do. Michael Lee was going to do what the speedway told him to do. Michael Lee says himself that he has a rebellious streak. A clash with authority was inevitable. On one side stood an awkwardly built youth who, in a lot of peoples' minds, should have made a useless speedway rider. A rebellious talented unruly youth brought up in the spirit of a sport he understood and experienced has a 'brotherhood'. A sport made up of riders who fought against each other on the track but whose lives depended on each other to survive intact. On the opposite side the speedway authorities running the sport in their entrepreneurial image. Free to make money in the new entrepreneurial spirit of minimum expenditure and maximised profits. Determined to carry on running the sport their way. And all of the ingredients of this speedway cake, Michael Lee was going to have to digest, fell into place in 1979. Ivan Mauger to all intents and purposes was gone along with Olsen, Collins, Michanek and all those other riders who dominated speedway between 1965 and 1979. The new breed was knocking on the doors and making demands, but they weren't going to get what they regarded as their just deserts. They weren't going to reap the 'field of golden speedway corn' that Ivan Mauger had sown for them. This professional ideal is not about money as such, though due reward is expected for services rendered. The professional ideal meant that everyone and everything should operate to the standard made explicit because of Ivan Mauger's professionalism, as a racer, across the speedway board. It wasn't and there was a recession and spectators didn't come to watch the sport in the numbers they once did. Money was tight has an era ended with the passing of Ivan Mauger and the other members of the 1970's 'Big Five' into speedway history. Rebellious ill-mannered disrespectful young men were coming into the sport with these new expectations. Some one had to be made an example of. Someone was at fault. Someone was to blame. Someone was going to get punished for it. (Hey up Michael, job for you mate >>> 'fall guy')!!! And thus we come round to Michael Lee's fall from grace. Was he pushed or did he jump? Judge for yourself by reading his interview. And thus we come to 1985 the recession, the closure of the 'Hallowed Halls of Halifax' Transformed into an attraction from 'a grey team from a grey place' with the advent of Kenny Carter, according to the words of John Berry. Not so. Halifax speedway was an attraction to spectators long before Kenny Carter came upon the scene. No one there, thought of let alone talked of a 'second coming of anyone' as I recall. Has for being 'a grey team from a grey place' that wasn't true either. It's not for nothing people are 'transfixed' by a certain colourful woollen pullover. But as in all things we 'believe what we are told to see' by those who are not has myopic and senile, as we are, in thought word and deed. 'Whatever is said about what people thought about Michael Lee there are those who saw him as a great rider and not the 'foolish' man that people like to depict him as'. There were those of us who realised Michael Lee represented, embodied and made tangible to the supporter the turmoil affecting speedway from 1980 to 1985. An unfortunate period when speedway was deprived of world champions, in the moulds of the 'Big Five' of both previous eras of the sport. (1954 - 1967 and 1968 - 1979) around which the rest of the sport revolved. It was Michael Lee's 'misfortune' to be a world champion at that moment. Unable to represent the sport in the manner of old, as the 'old' was in a state of flux transforming itself into the 'new', in line with all the other changes taking place in society. Michael Lee was confused has to how he was to fulfil everyone's expectations of him as world champion because everything that 'should be' to make smooth his reign has world champion was no longer there. Not before long 'in spirit' and sometimes in fact Michael Lee wasn't there either. So the speedway ship was rudderless. But there was renewed hope in Bruce Penhall another of the new breed confident in his abilities to become world champion. But after his world title win of 1982 Penhall wasn't there either. So the rudderless speedway ship was drifting towards the rocks. And then there was Egon Muller. 'Time to respect Muller'. But Muller wasn't there to be respected either. And by the time Erik Gundersen restored some equilibrium to speedway the ship was already on the rocks in the eyes of the speedway paying public. Circumstances kept people away from speedway because of the financial restraints imposed on them by the new entrepreneurial spirit that was in full swing during the late 1980's. Short sighted policies by those outside speedway, but in control of speedway's 'destiny', decided that this sport was an outdated nuisance factor standing in the way of progress in other areas. Thus speedway was removed from the Shay stadium in order that it could be redeveloped to fit in with the new spirit of enterprise. Thus Cradley Heath speedway followed suit and all the other speedway tracks that have been shut down in the name of progress ever since. For in effect nothing has changed. So we the speedway supporting public were invited to walk away from the sport. Forcibly removed from the premises, so to speak. You did not walk away from the sport of speedway alone Michael Lee. Many of us walked away with you, just has disillusioned and confused as to why a sport that was at the top of the world was laid down so low, as you were. Michael Lee who had seen nothing of life other than a world revolving around motorcycles involved himself in the lifestyle that he wanted to involve himself in. For no one tells a rebel where to go and what to do when they go looking for themselves. But Michael Lee appears to have found himself in his garden. This rebel went looking for himself in a garden too, 'Eden, garden of trees' searching for 'Sweet Liberation' and 'Nirvana'. ('But I found Woody Guthrie instead' chuckled wicked old senile myopic Uncle Mr Clemens to his silly sen'). Doing all this instead of 'b*ggering about collecting peoples signature on paper', implicit in the bemused look Anders Michanek gave a young autograph hunter one night at Halifax. Michael Lee no doubt recognises the 'clarion call' of such 'mystical' concepts? I knew when it was said Michael Lee was in line for the next big interview that this would be the 'catalyst' for expressing certain thoughts about days gone by and has to why things developed as they did in those days. And we come to present times and we see similar patterns taking place in speedway today. Tony Rickardsson has combined both aspects of the spirit of 'make do and mend' and 'avarice and greed' in a manner palatable to those following in his stride. Tony Rickardsson has done it with a 'smile on his face'. He has done what Ivan Mauger couldn't do nor perhaps had any concept of the possibility of doing so, at the time. Ivan Mauger built the bridge from taking speedway from the era of the original 'Big Five' to the era of the second 'Big Five'. Tony Rickardsson understands what the first 'Big Five' represented and he understands what the second 'Big Five' represented too. Thus he understood the possibilities implicit within these two principles. Meaning that if he could be seen to be the ultimate professional performing in the proper 'spirit' understood by riders, promoters and speedway supporting public alike he could equal and perhaps surpass Ivan Mauger's record of six world titles making him 'Grand Master Supreme'. And thus ancient ghosts of speedway are laid to rest. But there is a note of caution written on this benchmark set. There are those riders who burn themselves out or give up on attempting to emulate these new standards set by Rickardsson. Burning their selves out or give up because they fail to understand the motivation for and grasp the practicalities of achieving these ends. Or lack the financial clout to put these ingredients into practice. Perform in effect in a manner similar to Michael Lee and thus fall from grace in the speedway paying publics eyes. Michael Lee 'fell from Grace with the Speedway Gods' because Ivan Mauger was a hard act to follow. The speedway cake was too big to digest. Has Tony Rickardsson baked a speedway cake that's indigestible for the next breed of up and coming world champions? 'Only time will tell who has fell and whose been left behind, when you go your way and I go mine' Bob Dylan >>> 'Most Likely You Go Your Way and I Go Mine' >>> Blonde on Blonde 'I try my best to be just like I am but everyone wants you to be just like them'. Bob Dylan >>> 'Maggie's Farm >>> Bringing it all back home 'There are still one or two of us walking the street >>> with no arrows of direction painted under our feet >>> with no angels to warn us away from the heat >>> but if I have to remember >>> that's a fine memory'. Leonard Cohen >>> 'Tonight will be fine >>> Live Songs

Sorry for causing offence with my post and my failure to understand the rules of your speedway forum. . I have deleted this post and will delete all those other long posts that cause offence in due course. My apologies to the Speedway Forum for not obeying the rules.

Speedway Grand Prix Bydgoszcz Well eh what??? This is it, th'Coronation of Tony Rickardsson New Record equalling Six Times World Champion!!! Uncle Mr. Clemens, resplendent in freshly laundered, ironed, pressed, colourful Halifax woolly jumper, with championship laurels of olive green specially imported from th'Mount Olympus Greece. Personally hand woven by t'Father of t'Gods, Zeus his very sen. Worn by wicked Mr Clemens as a Crown of Victory on his head. Tasty Chinese meal to hand, disgruntled nephew in attendance. Unable to accompany Uncle Mr Clemens on t'Great August Bank Holiday Speedway Adventure, turned t'tele on. 'Who in the hell's Bennett', moaned t'peed off nephew at t'silver screen?? (No silly not thee Joe TV screen eh what)!!! Whilst th'intellectual TV Pundits set glorious scene for t'Coronation of T/R, pondering on th'ability of a multiple World Champion, to score four points without having a physical and mental breakdown, Uncle Mr Clemens reflected on t'mystical vision handed down to him by Zeus from t'mountaintop just like Moses at t'start of t'speedway season!!! There was T/R sat on t'bench at top of t'street with arms outstretched in a warm embrace mile wide smile on his face appropriately thankful for all he was about to receive 'What's tha got to smile about', asked th'bemused Uncle Mr. C, but T/R just sat there with th'grin on his face and said nowt!!! Mr C's attention was diverted to a body laid on t'floor by the side of t'bench dressed in red and white speedway leathers arms folded across his chest laurel wreath pinned to his breast. Half a penny dropped in Uncle Mr Clemens' tiny little mind immediately realising that t'mystical vision indicated a sixth triumph for t'wonderful T/R. Whilst pondering long and hard on th'wicked implications of T/R's number six triumph t'other penny eventually dropped. Th'corpse laid on t'floor resplendent in laurel green was non-other than t'other six times World Champion Ivan Gerald Mauger his very sen!!! Then all t'wicked implications of T/R's up and coming win became th'abundantly clear. All these ancient speedway ghosts were going to be laid to rest Th'end of an era, eh what??? All ready th'rumblings could be heard from th'Australian Gold Coast ('Where else would Ivan live but t'Gold Coast', chuckled wicked old myopic senile Uncle Mr Clemens to t'glowering nephew)!!! Where t'afore said six times great sat on his gold plated Jawa speedway machine muttering to T/R on t'phone. 'Tha's still not won it three times on t'trot yet has tha??? Eh what Triple Crown Plus that's what mate EH!!! But good luck all the same Give me best to th'Ove what's his name win't tha eh??? I could have won twenty grand prix's on t'trot I only said th'Ove who is it could have won ten to be kind and so th'watching speedway millions didn't think I was a big head'. Who us Ivan nivver. Everyone knows tha't modest to a fault!!! With all these mystical vibes intact and Lee Richardson trying to get his head in gear on with the motley!!! Heat 1. Crump = 3 B. Pedersen = 2 Sullivan = 1 Lindback = 0 Crump technically still able to become World Champion steams away unlucky Ryan wearing unlucky 13 passes even unluckier Lindbach Heat 2. Adams = 3 Protasiewicz = 2 N.Pedersen = 1 Richardson = 0 Tough start Richardson adorned in laurel wreaths of speedway starting tape waving in the wind, mystical or what, shut out at the back!!! 'Is it a fair track', quoth TV Pundit Dullard prompted by t'performance of a sick looking Richardson??? Heat 3. Rickardsson = 3 Jonsson = 2 Hampel = 1 Andersen = 0 T/R crawls agonisingly slowly to the front of the field. Heat 4. Gollob = 3 Hancock = 2 Nicholls = 1 Chrzanowski = 0 Great tussle between Gollob and Hancock. A frustrated Nicholls struggles 'Gollob loves riding in Poland', reports th'obvious stating Dullard!!! Time out 'T/R's collecting milestones free at Tesco's he's relaxed about records focused on the job in hand', quoth th'astute TV Pundit Keith to Uncle Sam and Chris Louis. (T/R doesn't shop at Morrisons then with Simon Stead', eh what chuckled senile Uncle Mr. Clemens to t'peed off nephew)??? 'My money's on Pepe', says ever loyal team leader Chris Louis official Ipswich agent in charge of immigration of millions of Poles into GB. 'Night's closing in here floodlights piercing down', quoth th'obvious stating Dullard. ('Pearson where he's not here too is he', chuckled Uncle Mr. Clemens wickedly to his sen)??? Heat 5. Hancock = 3 Crump = 2 Hampel = 1 Richardson = 0 Hancock great gate nudges Crump out of the way Crump up inside of Hampel on fourth lap from last into second place. Heat 6. Gollob = 3 N.Pedersen = 2 Rickardsson = 1 Sullivan = 0 The Magic Moment!!! Th' scurrilous rumour circulating t'Polish stadium, afore th'ultimate race, has it that T/R was seen in deep discussion with Ryan Sullivan and Hans Anderson, th'inquiring of t'best way to go about scoring points in a Speedway Grand Prix wicked, eh what!!! 'I'm sure Ivan Mauger is watching this coverage back in the Gold Coast in Australia', quoth Dullard 'If T/R comes in last I'm a Dutchman', adds t'perceptive Dullard ('Which one, not th'original Halifax 21 point maximum man Henny Kroeze by any chance', chuckled Uncle Mr. Clemens)??? Gollob makes a brilliant start wide to fence passed by Nicki Pedersen resplendent with lucky Danish racing legs Gollob great move round N/P but T/R grabs the one point by pipping th'irate pointless Ryan Sullivan at t'post T/R six times world champ!!! Time out ('Notice that Jason Crump is immediately to hand first to congratulate T/R on th'glorious triumph' quoth Uncle Mr Clemens to th'nephew. He's on a speedway bike', quoth th'sarky nephew peed off at passing of th'speedway crown from Crumpy to T/R, 'not a bleedin' Triumph you wicked old senile myopic old git')!!! In congratulating T/R Crump displays all the attributes of a great world champion The weight of the responsibility, of wearing the world crown, visibly lifts from Crumps shoulders has he embraces Rickardsson. Elated T/R interviewed thanks all those involved in his victory. In th'midst of th'adoration of t'magi, th'TV pundit Dullard drops a speedway bombshell, that lands with a dull thud, in th'lap of wicked old senile myopic Uncle Mr Clemens. 'Let's see, this is how he achieved his World Championship, a genuine world final in '94 before the Grand Prix started' T/R's FIRST WORLD TITLE A GENUINE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP EH WHAAAT!!! 'What were th'wicked implications of th'strange Dullard type remark, in t'midst of such joyous celebrations', pondered Uncle Mr Clemens, almost choking on t'tasty sweet and sour chicken!!! Then another penny dropped in Mr Clemens' tiny little mind. For if T/R's 1994 triumph was th'last GENUINE World Speedway Championship then th'wicked joyful six times record equalling T/R's t'other five triumphs were counterfeit, fraudulent, didn't count!!! Therefore not only was T/R just a solitary one time World Speedway Championship winner, but all of his other titles amounted to b*gger all!!! More pennies dropped inside Uncle Mr Clemens' tiny little mind For if all T/R's triumphs were counterfeit so were all t'other bogus champ's titles from that moment to this!!! Yes that's you Professor Hans Nielsen thi fourth title means nowt mate but nivver mind eh!!! Tha't still on a par with Ole and Eric, nowt's lost, is it, eh??? And you Billy Hamill No Bull. Not yours either Mr. Hancock ('Let's get that clear straight away', chuckled senile myopic Uncle Mr. Clemens mimicking GENUINE World Championship winning Uncle Sam's famous catchphrase)!!! Not yours sparky Marky Loram no point in looking sick about it mate!!! Nor yours tricky Nicky Pederson on yer lucky Danish Racing legs!!! Sorry J/C tha wasted thi time coming second all them years. Jack Young's still th'last GENUINE th'Australian World Champ bogus or what eh??? 'These Speedway World Championships don't amount to a hill of beans', echoed th'immortal words of th'great American actor Humphrey Gocart across th'speedway ages!!! Uncle Mr Clemens, still choking on t'tasty Chinese meal, could hear distant wicked Gold Coast chuckling, from t'one and only six GENUINE times World GENUINE Champion. Not a fraudulent title in sight, eh what, NITRO, rocking with joy on th'gold plated Jawa!!! But on wi' th'current counterfeit Speedway Grand Prix Heat 7. Andersen = 3 Protasiewicz = 2 Chrzanowski = 1 Lindback = 0 Great Andersen gate Pepe cuts through to 2nd place 'I thought you were going to say that Chris Louis was going to buy everyone a drink, if his man gets through to the final', chuckles th'astute TV Pundit Kelv to wicked Dullard, looking forward to imbibing free Ipswich drinks!!! Heat 8. Jonsson = 3 Nicholls = 2 B. Pedersen = 1 Adams = 0 A/J misses gate through to front up the inside. Adam's engine failure 'Bad luck for Adams good fortune for Nicholls', quoth Kelv injecting th'lucky omens into t'proceedings!!! Time out During the break TV Pundit Keith asks th'studio guests Louis and Uncle Sam their opinions on t'brilliant yet fraudulent six times world champion T/R's ongoing successes 'Shurrup thee Chris Louis', quoth TV Pundit Keith. 'I'm talking to bona fide GENUINE World Speedway Champions here', when enquiring of what's in store for t'bogus champ T/R in t'future 'The others have to raise their game. T/R will want to stay in front. T/R has more in him', quoth GENUINE Uncle Sam ('What more bogus World Titles to come th'blessed T/R's way', chuckled wicked old senile myopic Uncle Mr Clemens bursting into song. With apologies to the Grand Master himself Woody Guthrie 'Uncle Sam took up the challenge in the year of 93')!!! Heat 9. Nicholls = 3 Crump = 2 Andersen = 1 N.Pedersen = 0 Andersen bunched up falls meanwhile TV Pundits Kelv and Dullard discuss T/R 'What's the difference between legendary Ivan Mauger and fraudulent Tony Rickardsson', asks th'Dullard of th'intellectually th'astute World Champion TV Pundit Kelv???? 'How long have we got', chuckles th'wicked Kelv ??? ('Mhm about twenty years of debate between th'triumphs of GENUINE Ivan Mauger's abilities and t'fraudulent T/R's abilities I shouldn't wonder', chuckled Uncle Mr Clemens to his silly sen, already pondering on th'hysterical arguments, probably already taking place twixt th'intellectual inmates of th'speedway forum as we speak. Eh what niver)!!! 'Tony for me personally is a littler bit more the complete rider he seems to have everything in his locker. Rickardsson will possibly go down as the best rider in history', being Kelv's carefully considered response to the question of a Dullard!!! 'If you were racing in Grand Prix action against Ivan Mauger, who never rode in a counterfeit Grand Prix of course, or you had to race Tony Rickardsson which one would you prefer to race against', asked th'mind numbing Dullard of th'astute Kelv, 'or would it be tricky Nicky Pedersen and his lucky Danish racing legs??? 'It would certainly be tough to race against Nicki Pedersen's lucky Danish racing legs, for different sets of reasons' chuckled recently th'hip replaced Kelv, 'and hard against T/R and Mauger for another different sets of reasons'. ('Yep cos ones GENUINE and t'others a fraud', chuckled Uncle Mr Clemens) 'Well of course Ivan did say he had to start in qualifiers, on the other side of the world, taking half the year to get through', quoth Dullard eager to add fuel to the great 'who is the greatest debate', scheduled to run forever and ever amen!!! Rerun Andersen falls again stands on track waving his arms in furious exasperation all four back 'Hans must feel aggrieved, it must feel like déjà vu for him', chuckles TV Pundit Kelv, mystical or what eh, after concluding that it was no ones fault Andersen went down twice Dullard refers back t'studio for t'verdicts of Uncle Sam and Chris Louis 'The words, 'that he could have backed it off', were the words used by Chris Louis', quoth th'anchorman Keith, has the studio guests were unanimous in agreement of all four back in 'Seems like everybody concurs in here Kelvin with your thoughts', quoth overawed TV pundit Keith, by th'astute genius of Kelv ('Conkers', chuckled wicked old Uncle Mr. C to his silly sen eh what)??? 'Well that's nice we're all happy families together Keith terrific stuff', commented t'newly confirmed and crowned th'World Champion Speedway TV Pundit Kelvin, to mass chuckling from one and all concerned with Sky Sports presentation. Not Bennett gaah Brian, Brian not the monitor!!! Rerun 2 Andersen cuts back as ace commentator Kelvin predicts the lead changes Nicholls brilliant win 'Best race of the night', quoth a thrilled Kelvin, at t'fulfillment of his mystical prediction. Heat 10. Richardson = 3 Jonsson = 2 Sullivan = 1 Chrzanowski = 0 'Richardson had good fortune there as Jonsson made a hash of the gate', quoth Kelvin 'Better late than never', quoth Dullard Heat 11. Adams = 3 Gollob = 2 Hampel = 1 Lindback = 0 Amazing last to second from the masterful Gollob 'Gollob comes from another planet', quoth th'increasingly mystically minded Kelv. 'Not quite has far as another planet, just a couple of metres or so outside', quoth Dullard, questioning another World Champs grasp on speedway reality!!! Heat 12. Hancock = 3 Protasiewicz = 2 B. Pedersen = 1 Rickardsson = 0 Hancock all the way from the gate 'Rickardsson found it tough' quoth fresh from another planet Kelvin Time out 'T/R's looking all at sea at the moment', th'observes TV Pundit Keith 'Tracks been watered', chuckles Uncle Sam 'Kelvin says heat 9 is the best race of the night and I would never argue with Kelvin', quoth Keith Better not mate oh no!!! 'Oooh Kay', mutters th'unimpressed, with Keith's adoration of Kelvin, GENUINE World Speedway Champion Uncle Sam!!! Crump magnanimous in interview 'It's a privilege to be racing in the same era as Tony, maybe he will give it back to me next year'!!! Heat 13. Gollob = 3 Protasiewicz = 2 Jonsson = 1 Crump = 0 Great start from Pepe Gollob racing on another planet glides majestically round Protasiewicz J/C squeezed out Heat 14. Hancock = 3 Adams = 2 Andersen = 1 Sullivan = 0 Rerun after Hancock falls great start from Greg TV Pundits speculate on Sullivan's inclusion in next year's Grand Prix 'Greg Hancock's one of the nicest guys in the pits', quoth Kelvin Heat 15. Rickardsson = 3 Richardson = 2 Nicholls = 1 Lindback = 0 T/R wide to the front L/R squeezes T/R out T/R at his best passes Richardson with brilliant move on last turn of last lap 'T/R enjoyed that one, there will be a big smile on his face till Christmas I'm sure', quoth Kelv, as t'jovial T/R chuckles to his sen in t'pits!! Heat 16. N.Pedersen = 3 B.Pedersen = 2 Hampel = 1 Chrzanowski = 0 N/P hits front. B/P passes N/P. N/P repasses to win. Time out 'How's your money', TV Pundit Keith speculates on th'eventual winner of th'current GP, hoping to get a free drink out of someone??? 'My money's still on the fence', chuckles Uncle Sam reluctant to mention which American rider he wants to come in first!!! 'Looks like T/R's fighting back unfortunately it was Lee Richardson T/R mugged on the last bend', quoth Keith, digging himself a deep hole 'Yeah you wrote him off didn't ya, nah nah ne nah na', grimaced disgruntled Chris Louis, firmly grasping his opportunity to get one over on smart arse TV th'anchorman Keith, bootlicker extraordinaire, to all World Speedway Champions past and present 'T/R pushed Richardson gentlemanly like', quoth Uncle Sam Heat 17. Adams = 3 Crump = 2 Rickardsson = 1 Chrzanowski = 0 'There's obviously a combination here', quoth th'astute Kelv 'If T/R comes first Crumpy second Adams third they'd all go through. But I am sure they haven't discussed that'. Fraudulent thinking or what eh Kelv??? Adams from gate to finish. T/R struggles against Chrzanowski Heat 18. Protasiewicz = 3 Hampel = 2 Nicholls = 1 Sullivan = 0 Pepe another great start. Nicholls chases Hampel to no avail Heat 19. N.Pedersen = 3 Jonsson = 2 Hancock = 1 Lindback = 0 N/P pressured by A/J. Off the pace Hancock struggles in third place 'Pedersen shows character', quoth Kelvin has N/P claws his way back into contention Heat 20. Richardson = 3 Gollob = 2 B. Pedersen = 1 Andersen = 0 'Rickardsson could rely on Gollob to get into the semis' quoth Dullard 'Swings and roundabouts. (eh what?), chuckles Kelv. 'Who would have thought that Tomasz Gollob could do Rickardsson a favour by winning a race??? A shocking Lee Richardson, foils riding round the boards Gollob, to work his way into the semis after his bad start to the night Time out as semi finalists choose racing positions 'Where will Gollob go, only he knows. Nothing works more mysteriously than interplanetary Tony (eh what!!!) Gollob's mind', quoth th'anchorman Keith, as the riders stand around waiting for Godot, sorry Gollob. Eh!!! Who??? Samuel Beckett!!! 'Maybe they've got a juggler we can't see', quoth Keith has Gollob stands impatiently waiting hands on hips to take his pick 'Adams' down on his knees looking for divine inspiration' observes Keith!!!! (Eh what, hold on a minute, visionary or what, we can't have that mate. Yer'll have folk thinking mystical visions are ten a penny)!!! 'And tedious Chris has got the mindset of Tomasz Gollob', observes condescending Keith, has Gollob picks the gate position, indicated by th'official government appointed Ipswich Immigration Controller 'Thanks Keith', mutters th'disgruntled p*ssed off Chris Louis!!! All the riders pick their positions 'Any surprises there gentleman', asks thinking man's TV th'anchorman Keith??? 'No' says tight-lipped Louis. 'Well that's how I would have expected the gate picking to go, but who gives a sh*t what I think anyway'??? Interview with T/R 'How did you feel after the title was won', asked TV pundit Steve Brandon??? T'jovial Tone reveals th'wicked reasons for his failure to make the semis 'You just lose all that momentum, you just laugh about everything. All the focus just went. You just sit there with a smile on your face, waiting for the green light to come on, saying come on focus, focus. It's difficult. But really the truth is, I couldn't concentrate, for thinking of wicked old senile myopic chuckling Uncle Mr. Clemens and his mystical visions!!! Who me??? Eh. What??? Semi final one Gollob = 3 Crump = 2 N.Pedersen = 1 Protasiewicz = 0 Gollob imperious from the gate. Crump last battles to second place in great move up the inside of Pedersen Semi final two Richardson = 3 Hancock = 2 Adams = 1 Jonsson = 0 Great win by Lee Richardson, blows kisses to the camera, sharing out th'GB Maximum Man's lucky sickness bug, amongst all those lucky, lucky speedway watching millions!!! Sudden appearance of Middlo on t'screen (no not you Joe!!!) No doubt taking part in another wickedly lucky GB sickness plot lurking in the background, germ free, with a knowing look on his face??? Time out Gollob picks the inside line. Hancock hesitates before picking blue 'I think he was thinking about picking four there', quoth th'astute Polish Immigration Officer Louis 'You really think he was thinking that Chris', quoth a mildly interested TV pundit Keith 'I do', quoth Louis has if the groom at a mystical wedding ceremony 'I don't believe it, Crumpy next', quoth t'swiftly moving on Keith 'I don't give a sh*t what tha believes', mutters th'wicked Immigration Officer to his sen!!! 'I will buy the drinks if Richardson wins t'final', quoth t'generous Keith 'I bet tha bleedin will' >>> thinks Polish immigration orientated Louis The Final Gollob = 1ST Richardson = 2ND Crump = 3RD Hancock = 4TH Gollob from the gate. Richardson works his way into second place At this point came the special moment of the night. You can keep your six times world championship winners There was the imperious, supremely magnificent Tomasz Gollob, the greatest speedway rider I have ever personally seen, perfectly balanced, who needs lucky racing legs, floating round the track, has for once precisely put by Tony, who Rickardsson??? No Dullard!!! 'He's standing there like God on his bike riding round this circuit' 'I didn't know God rode a motorbike', quoth disgruntled nephew Didn't tha??? 'Didn't tha know that God always rode around in TRIUMPH in mystical biblical days of old', chuckled wicked old senile myopic Uncle Mr Clemens Eh >>> what!!! Congrats Tone on the sixth. Heres t'seventh. Heaven??? Eh what!!! 'I love everybody', quoth Godlike Tomasz Gollob

You make it sound so 'all unexpected' Steve >>> chuckled senile old Uncle Mr. Clemens. I knew he would win it at the start of the season and told my nephew so too >>> don't ask me how i knew

Thanks for the link Subedei >>> the wife is working in southern poland at the moment >>> 2 miles from the slovak border >>> doesn't seem that floods are affecting that area though Thanks again

My feeling is that Leigh Adams will come out on top >>> he's in the testimonial mood!!! Where abouts exactly in the south are these floods???

Sam Hurst >>> I was looking at the website pictures >>> It struck me this lad will go far in the sport >>> keep an eye on him!!!

'It's cos you've got your eyes too closely fixed on Sophie's knockers, the reason you can't see them on the terraces, Joe. 'It's called 'myopia', chuckled wicked >>> senile >>> old Uncle Mr. Clemens!!!

Cheers home straight I appreciate it

You don't have to keep repeating it >>> it's like having LSD flashbacks

'Me neither', chuckled wicked old >>> senile >>> myopic >>>Uncle Mr. Clemens

They think it's all over >>> It is now

Mr. Clemens popped on his lucky colourful Halifax woolly jumper >>> and with the ‘mystically inspired number ‘48’ implanted firmly in his tiny little mind’ >>> he lived in hope that Great Britain would pull off a fabulous win and confound all their critics. Wicked >>> senile >>> myopic >>> or what >>>> eh??? Th’disgruntled nephew simply stated his recently ‘baptised and confirmed Belle Vue supporting hope’ that Jason Crump would be fully recovered from his th’unlucky contact with th’GB Maximum-Man’s lucky race winning bug, by Wednesday night. With tasty take away Chinese meals of sweet and sour chicken and chop suey roll, to hand, this th’intrepid pair of speedway misfits sat down to watch th’unfolding of the final moments of the 2005 Speedway World Cup. Or as the senile, myopic, wicked old Uncle Mr. Clemens would come to call it:- ‘The Rune Holta Gold Medal Testimonial Meeting’. Mr. Clemens had been previously informed, by th’intellectual TV pundits, that in the lucky event of Poland winning said Speedway World Cup, that not only would the th’equally lucky Norwegian Pole Rune Holta, win a precious lucky gold medal and get to place his hands on’t beautiful Speedway World Cup Trophy, inscribed with the name of the greatest speedway rider of all time, bar none, the supremely immortal Ove Fundin, he would also win a handsome purse of testimonial zlotys, for simply agreeing to ride for th’lucky Polish World Cup Speedway Team. And th’while talking of th’intellectual TV pundits, Kelvin that doyen of speedway th’intellectuals was seen running towards th’TV pundits favourite commentators hidey-hole, on a pair of lucky legs kindly loaned to him, for this very purpose, by the Danish World Cup Speedway Team. This being because Kelvin liked to appear to be everywhere at once >>>> mystical or what >>>> eh??? Before he left, th’TV pundits favourite linkman >>> who often seems to serve no apparent purpose at all >>> other than to hand us all over to th’intellectual Kelvin >>> discussed the prospects of GB Maximum-Man Lee Richardson’s prospects in th’upcoming meeting. ‘Let’s hope we’re lucky and he’s sick tonight’ >>> if the GB Maximum-Man’s lucky sickness bug kicks in early doors you never know what might happen!!!! Kelv’s th’intellectually amusing comments echoed across the world >>> has he ran to join Nigel Pearson >>> in order to make even more astute observations >>> for t’lucky speedway watching millions >>> to digest along with their tasty evening meals. ‘Who’s riding tonight’, asked a still disgruntled nephew??? Why, all them th’lucky World Cup finalists of course’, chuckled wicked old senile Uncle Mr. Clemens. >>>>> On with the Motley!!!! Heat 1. T/R >>>> Andersen >>> Screen >>> Walasek Unlucky Pole stranded at the back GB1 Poland 0 Denmark 2 Sweden 3 Heat 2. Holta >>> P/K >>> Stead >>> B. Pedersen Stead moves at gate but lucky Norwegian Pole steams away to win GB2 Poland 3 Denmark 2 Sweden 5 Heat 3. Bjerre >>> Protasiewicz >>> Jonsson >>> Richardson Bjerre all the way from the gate (Looks like t’ GB Maximum-Man’s lucky sickness bug isn’t going to kick in tonight’, says Uncle Mr. Clemens >>> has he wondered if GB was going to score 8 points >>> nivver mind 48!!!! GB 2 Poland 5 Denmark 5 Sweden 6 Heat. 4 Hampel >>>> Lindback >>>> Nicholls >>> N. Pedersen Hampel from the gate >>> tricky Nicki takes Scotty wide >>> Scotty passes Nicki ‘What’s wrong with Pedersen’, wonders th’TV pundit’s? (‘Where’s his th’lucky legs, mused Uncle Mr. Clemens >>> weird >> eh>>> what)?? GB 3 Poland 8 Denmark 5 Sweden 8 Heat 5. Gollob (Tomasz) >>> Iversen >>> Lindgren >>> Harris Gollob from the gate >>> Harris at the back. (At this point >>> because of the dire performances of all but th’lucky Poles >>> Uncle Mr. Clemens was torn between turning off th’ Speedway World Cup >>> and putting on that magical mystical movie >>> Mary Poppins >>> in order to reconnect to the spiritual vibe >>> in the hope of finding out what the hell was going on!!!) GB3 Poland 11 Denmark 7 Sweden 9 Heat 6. Richardson >>> Lingren >>> Walosek >>> N. Pedersen Richardson flies from the gate tricky Nicki struggles >>> again >>> Nicki’s at the back >>> pulls up ‘Is Nicki on a sick bike’ >>> quoth speculating TV pundits??? ‘Richardson’s got the legs’, yells th’TV pundit Nigel’ >>> what >>> eh >>> how??? (It was all becoming clear >>> at last >>> to myopic >>> senile >>> old Uncle Mr. Clemens >>> there was subterfuge going on. It was plain to see >>> to anyone senile and myopic >>> that somehow >>> th’Team GB >>> had wickedly >>> exchanged GB Maximum-Man’s lucky race winning bug >>> for th’Danish World Cup Speedway teams’ Lucky Danish Racing Legs!!!! Th’Danes >>> like the equally gullible th’Australians >>> had fallen for th’wicked GB Team Manager’s crafty plot >>> to th’undermine th’opposition >>> because Middlo had known all along that >>> GB Maximum-Man’s lucky race winning bug >>> only worked when it was tucked up in Lee Richardson’s stomach Inside anyone else >>> being contaminated by anything remotely related to things GB >>> it simply made em sick!!! >>> but all would well for GB now cos >>> ‘Richardson’s got the legs’ >>> problem is Middlo forgot to tell t’rest of Team GB about this wicked plot to win th’Speedway World Cup??? GB 6 Poland 12 Denmark 7 Sweden 11 Heat 7. Nicholls >>> T/R >>> Holta >>> Iversen Nicholls great start T/R can’t catch him ‘He’s got the legs’, confirms TV Pundit Nigel >>> who knew all along >>> exactly where th’Lucky Danish Legs were >>> and who was wearing them!!! (Mr. Clemens began to think Kelv and Nigel must be in on th’wicked plot too >>> especially as Kelv was seen >>> running to the commentary box >>> on a pair of Lucky Danish Racing Legs)!!!! GB 9 Poland 13 Denmark 7 Sweden 13 Heat 8. Andersen >>> Protasiewicz >>> Harris >>> P/K Andersen from gate >>> Pepe round P/K >>> Harris battles past P/K P/K packs up >>> but that doesn’t take anything away from battling Harris GB 10 Poland 15 Denmark 10 Sweden 13 Heat 9. Jonsson >>> Hampel >>> B. Pedersen >>> Screen Jonsson flies past Hampel >>> Screen left at the gate >>> bike packs up Th’unlucky Screen totally out of luck >>> not seen again >>> until Team GB’s astute manager Middlo was sure >>> th’meeting was over for th’always unlucky Team GB (Joe obviously wasn’t privy to either th’Danish lucky legs’ or GB Maximum-Man’s lucky sickness bug’, said Mr. Clemens >>> to a faithful Belle Vue supporter ‘I hope Screenie’s not clueless on Wednesday night’, said a bored nephew). GB 10 Poland 17 Denmark 11 Sweden 16 Heat 10. Gollob >>> Bjerre >>> Stead >>> Lindback The nervous Lindback almost touches tapes >>> Ref doesn’t order a restart Stead in front >>> without any help from GB Maximum-Man’s lucky race winning bug >>> or Lucky Danish Racing Legs >>> he owes it all to TV pundit Kelvin’s favourite lucky Hungarian referee!!! Gollob runs up the back of Stead >>> Masterful control of a speedway bike >>> by the only speedway rider who knows what riding speedway means >>> Majestic!!! Stead manages to hold off Bjerre up the last minute >>> but is passed in the end ‘I am not in love with that referee’, qhoth Kelvin >>> eh >>> what >>> why??? ‘But he was right to let the race continue >>> has Lindback didn’t touch the tapes!!! ‘Gollob should be excluded for ‘foul riding’, yells irate TV pundit Nigel Pearson >>> already beginning to clutch at straws >>> Maximum – Man’s sickness bugs >>> Lucky Danish Legs ‘Even the authoritative >>> supremely knowledgeable correspondent >>> from the Speedway Star says so >>> quoth Pearson >>> so it must be true!!!! (It’s our privilege to see Gollob ride’, says a truly appreciative Mr. Clemens >>> Pearson thinks Gollob run into Stead on purpose >>> Get a life Nigel)!!! GB 11. Poland 20 Denmark 13 Sweden 16 Heat 11. Walasek >>> Bjerre >>> P/K >>> Nicholls Nicholls taken out wide by P/K >>> Walasek untroubled win (‘Th’unlucky Nicholls looks legless this time’, groans Uncle Mr. Clemens) GB 11 Poland 23 Denmark 15 Sweden 17 Heat 12. Holta >>> Jonsson >>> N. Pedersen >>> Harris Holta brilliant pass up inside line >>> AJ takes Harris wide >>> Harris last >>> Nicki still looking sick finishes third >>> Lucky Norwegian Pole wins again ‘Holta doesn’t sit well with me’, mumbles disgruntled Kelvin (It’s obvious’, chuckled wicked old Uncle Mr. Clemens’ >>> Kelv’s jealous of Rune’s up and coming gain of his testimonial purse full of zlotys >>> he obviously believes in that old adage >>> ‘you shouldn’t reap >>> for what you rode’ >>> eh >>> what??? ‘Nicki Pedersen’s not right tonight’, quoth th’astute TV pundit Pearson. (‘He seldom is in most peoples eyes’, mutters a rueful Uncle Mr. Clemens. ‘I like Nicki’, says t’nephew.) GB 11 Poland 26 Denmark 16 Sweden 19 Heat 13. Protasiewicz >>> Lindback >>> Iversen >>> Nicholls Nicholls in for Screen as double points tactical move ‘Does our night depend on this’ >>> asks th’nervous TV Pundit Nigel of the more astute th’intellectual Kelvin??? ‘Yep’, quoth th’astute Kelv’ Lindback gets a flier in an unsatisfactory start >>> Referee fails to order re start >>> Scotty packs up at the gate??? >>> Lindbach chases Protasiewicz ‘Lindbach’s jumped again’, yells th’dumbfounded th’intellectual Kelvin ‘I’m gutted’, moans the depressed Kelv >>> at last the true effects >>> of Team GB’s lack of contamination >>> with GB Maximum-Man’s lucky sickness bug >>> finally kick in >>> and hits Kelvin right where it hurts >>> in the guts >>> eh >>> what!!! (Th’Hungarian referee has turned th’Speedway World Cup >>> into a crap >>> shambolic affair >>> mutters Uncle Mr. Clemens >>> at the idiocy of Speedway referees)!!! GB 11 Poland 29 Denmark 17 Sweden 21 Heat 14. Hampel >>> Andersen >>> Stead >>> Lindgren Andersen in as double points tactical Stead shut out by Hampel >>> Stead last >>> passes Lingren >> tussles with Andersen >>> Stead makes a mistake >>> Andersen passes him ‘It’s inexperience that made Stead let Andersen get by him’, quoth th’astute Kelvin (He’s there to learn’, remarks sarky, faithful Belle Vue supporting nephew)!!! GB 12 Poland 32 Denmark 21 Sweden 21 Heat 15. Richardson >>> Gollob >>> B Pedersen >>> Rickardsson Fortunately for Team GB >>> GB Maximum-Man’s lucky sickness bug >>> kicks in with a real vengeance >>> GB Maximum-Man out-gates >>> th’brilliant Gollob >>> And even th’world champ in waiting >>> who decides to wait at the back >>> for wicked reasons known only to himself >>> eh >>> what >>> why!!! Gollob all over GB Maximum-Man >>> but even he can’t catch Richardson >>> sick or what >>> eh!!! GB 15 Poland 34 Denmark 22 Sweden 21 Time Out Lucky th’ex world champ Mark Loram >>> looking as sick as he possibly can >>> thankful no doubt >>> he has played no part in th’humiliation of Team GB >>> listens as th’astute th’intellectual Kelvin >>> explains th’reasons for Team GB’s lack of ability to compete >>> other than th’lucky to be sick >>> GB Maximum-Man ‘A lot of money has been spent by all the foreign teams to compete professionally in tonight’s meeting’ >>> quoth Kelvin >>> ‘Great Britain simply doesn’t have the budget they have’. (‘Exactly the reason we have spend money to bring the Under 15 riders up to the standard where they can compete against the top foreign riders’, says Mr. Clemens to his nephew). Heat 16. Walasek >>> Jonsson>>> Iversen >>> Stead Jonsson in as double points tactical Walasek from gate >>> Stead >>> out of shape AJ >>> sick or what >>> eh??? >>> barges into Stead >>> Stead last >>> engine failure ‘Luck kept Stead on his bike’, Kelv reminded t’speedway watching millions >>> in case they’d forgot >>> that was what speedway was all about >>> LUCK!!! ‘That was dangerous riding’, quoth t’even more th’irate Kelvin >>> clutching at t’ same straws has Pearson had >>> in th’brilliant >>> majestic bike controlling Gollob’s >>> >>> th’infamous attempt to put >>> Stead through th’fence >>> in Heat 10 Kelvin astutely concluding that there must be collusion between th’brilliant Poles and th’dire Swedes >>> to ride dangerously against Team GB!!! ‘AJ didn’t do it on purpose’, contradicted >>> th’astute Nigel >>> eh >>> what????????? GB 15 Poland 37 Denmark 23 Sweden 25 Heat 17. Richardson >>> Holta >>> Lindback >>> Andersen Lucky Norwegian Pole Holta >>> right out of luck Inspired passing by >>> GB Maximum-Man >>> sickens th’fast gating th’unlucky Rune ‘Lee was hard but fair’, says th’equally hard but fair th’TV Pundit Pearson GB 18 Poland 39 Denmark 23 Sweden 26 Heat 18. Protasiewicz >>> B Pedersen >>> Nicholls >>> Rickardsson T/R tactical ride Pepe heads the field >>> Bjarne second >>> Nicholls chases on his lucky legs >>> T/R at the back >>> thinking of other things again >>> perhaps >>> eh >>> what??? ‘It’s been a world class event’, quoth th’intellectual Kelvin >>> possibly watching a completely different meeting >>> to all those t’speedway watching millions at home (It’s th’TV spectacular that counts >>> these days >>> not close competative meetings >>> wicked old senile Uncle Mr. Clemens reminded his nephew)!!! GB 19 Poland 42 Denmark 25 Sweden 26 Hampel, >>> Rickardsson >>> Harris >>> Bjerre Hampel from gate in processional race >>> T/R on new bike Th’concerned Swedish team manager >>> approaches a world champ in waiting >>> in’t pits ‘You’ve not been bitten by GB Maximum-Man’s lucky sickness bug >>> have you Tony?? ‘Who me >>> no >>> chuckles t’jovial T/R!!! GB 20 Poland 45 Denmark 25 Sweden 28 Heat 20. Gollob >>> N Pedersen >>> Karlsson >>> Screen Gollob all the way from the gate for a magnificent Polish Speedway World Cup winning race ‘Pedersen must be Superman’ >>> TV Pundit Pearson >>> th’delirious with joy quoth >>> he’s got both his cheeky little lucky Danish racing legs off the bike!!! (‘Pearson must have sneaked them back to Nicki, while Kelv’s back was turned’, chuckled wicked old Uncle Mr. Clemens)!!! (Suddenly >>> th’significance of th‘mystically inspired number ‘48’ >>> implanted firmly in his tiny little mind >>> appeared in all it’s crystal clarity >>> to wicked old senile myopic Uncle Mr. Clemens >>> it was the magic moment when th’Poland won th’ Speedway World Cup >>> and that lucky, lucky Norwegian Pole >>>Rune Holta >>> gained his lucky precious Speedway World Cup winner’s gold medal)!!! GB 20 Poland 48 Denmark 27 Sweden 29 Heat 21. Walasek >>> Lindback >>> B Pedersen >>> Richardson An excited Walasek falls off bike at starting gate before the race starts (‘Who does that remind you of’, chuckles wicked old Uncle Mr. Clemens to his faithful Belle Vue supporting nephew >>> eh >>> what)??? Walasek >>> however >>> flies from the gate >>> brilliant run into first bend >>> Lindbach/ BP fight it out >>> for not so lucky >>> 2nd place silver medal rostrum position >>> GB Maximum-Man sick that he has nowt to fight for >>> at the back ‘Poland is in front of Sweden by 20 points >>> TV pundit’s Kelvin and Nigel >>> admit they’re jealous of th’magnificent Poles It was their professional approach as a team’, quoth th’astute Kelv (It were cos t’other three teams were crap an’ all’, quoth Mr. Clemens)!!! GB 20 Poland 51 Denmark 28 Sweden 31 Heat 22. Holta >>> Stead >>> Lindgren >>> Bjerre Holta celebrates his lucky precious Speedway World Cup gold medal win Stead seals fine fighting performance in his first Speedway World Cup ‘Stead has had a lot of injuries in the past few years’, quoth TV pundit Nigel ‘He rides in a vulnerable manner’, quoth th’astute Kelvin (‘He was always trying too hard to please >>> quoth Uncle Mr. Clemens >>> but I think he’s learned his lessons now’). GB 22 Poland 54 Denmark 28 Sweden 32 Stead in tactical ride in next race ‘Stead should be able to beat these three easily’, chuckles th’TV pundit Kelvin ‘He’ll be mobbed in Morrison’s tomorrow if he does’, chuckles th’TV pundit Pearson Heat 23. Protasiewicz >>> N Pedersen >>> Stead >>> Rickardsson Pepe showboats after leading race all the way ‘Did you do wheelies Kelv >>> chuckled th’TV pundit Pearson >>> when you raced >>> not long ago >>> eh >>> what’? GB 23 Poland 57 Denmark 30 Sweden 32 Heat 24. Richardson >>> Hampel >>> N Pedersen >>> Karlsson GB Maximum-Man >>> brilliant round inside of track and gone >>> tricky Nicki doesn’t have enough luck in his legs to get past Hampel GB 26 Poland 59 Denmark 31 Sweden 32 A wicked TV cameraman pans in on a smiling, nodding T/R >>> who looks knowingly into the camera >>> through th’TV screen into >>> senile myopic old Uncle Mr. Clemens’ living room ‘You know what I am waiting for >>> don’t you Uncle Mr. Clemens >>> chuckles wicked old th’world champion in waiting Tony Rickardsson >>> see you on Saturday!!! Heat 25. Gollob >>> Jonsson >>> Nicholls >>> Andersen Gollob from gate >>> Nicholls/Andersen tussle at the back It’s Nicholls’ sweet revenge for Team GB >>> for what Andersen did to us last year >>> quoth th’wicked sh*t stirring th’TV pundit Pearson >>> controversial or what >>> eh??? GB 27 Poland 62 Denmark 31 Sweden 34 They think it’s all over >>> It is now!!! ‘It’s the colour coordinated bikes and kit wat dun it’, quoth th’intellectual th’TV pundit Kelvin Tatum >>> astutely summing up th’glorious Polish Speedway World Cup win!!! ‘It’s their because they were well prepared >>> gave 100% commitment throughout the meeting >>> what won it Kelvin >>> quoth TV pundit Keith >>> they’ve laid the benchmark down for everyone else tonight’. Th’lights go out on unlucky Team GB >>> on unlucky legless Denmark >>> on unlucky dire Sweden >>> and >>> Speedway World Cup Final 2005 >>> as th’intrepid roving th’TV pundit Sexy Sophie >>> interviews dejected, depressed Team GB team manager Middlo >>> nuff said >>> eh >>> what?? ‘Pity Jason wasn’t riding tonight’, said disgruntled nephew. ‘Never mind’, said wicked old senile myopic Uncle Mr. Clemens. ‘You never know, this time next year, he could be riding for th’glorious Polish Speedway World Cup wining team, in th’lucky role of th’official th’Australian Polish rider replacement for th’Norwegian Pole Runi Holta!!! Congratulations to the Polish Speedway World Cup winning team. There wasn’t a hint of subterfuge, of any kind, having taken place to give the Polish team an advantage on the track. They won because they were sheer class. Special congratulations to the finest speedway rider, I have ever been privileged to see racing speedway, Tomasz Gollob. He has finally received the acclaim of the Polish Nation and a gold medal he most richly deserves for all he has done for speedway. He truly is the only man who knows what speedway racing is all about.

Yep but the thing is it also told me that Asperillo (or whatever his name was) who played for Newcastle United would score a hatrick against Barcelona when the played at Newcastle a few years ago. Even I didn't believe that one.

'Tough Rubbish'. I didn't 'see' that one coming lol. It should have read 'sh*t'.

It doesn't work like that unfortunately but it certainly can catch people out. I once went to visit my son in Huddersfield where he lived at the time. We went across the road to the pub and sat with some of his mates. His friend mentioned to those present that he was going to put a £10 bet on a vital Glasgow Celtic/Rangers match. This was a couple of seasons ago when it was the closest race to the title they had in years, at the time, I think it was said. When Rangers were regarded as the 'form' team throughout the season. But he stated that he wasn't sure who to put his money on. Before anyone had chance to speak my son said 'Oh my father will tell you because he's psychic'. I could have kicked him off his stool. But his mate said 'who will win'? I was in the process of saying 'it doesn't work like that', when the voice said 'Celtic 2 - 1'. And I said 'Celtic 2 - 1'. He said 'No, no that can't happen Rangers are the form team and all the tipsters have said Rangers will win'. I said 'why bother asking me then'? But he asked me because he wanted it 'confirmed' that what would happen would be what he wanted to happen. As I did today. Anyway as i was somewhat interested in the 'outcome of this match' because of this incident, I actually watched the match. Celtic duly won 2 - 1. After the final whistle i actually began to count 1 - 2 - 3 and got to 10 when the phone rang. It was my son who said 'you were right'. And I said to him 'I know it was right. Tell your friend I want 10% of his winnings'. He said 'you can't have any money'. I said 'why' He said 'because he didn't believe you were right so he put his money on Rangers'. 'Tough rubbish for him', I said and hung up.

This of course is the problem with your psychic powers. The natural thing to expect is that the outcome will be what you want it to be. As it was when the 'spirit' told me at the start of the season that 'Tony Rickardsson would be world champion this year and lay the 'ghost' of Ivan Mauger to rest. As it was at the beginning of each GP this year when I was told that Tony would win GP's which he did. And while we're on with it he will win next Saturday too. The 'spirit' also told me that Liverpool would win the Champions League this season. I turned the TV off at half time and said to the 'spirit' Looks like you're wrong this time'. The spirit simply said 'there is another half to play yet'. I did believe that GB had the capabilities to mix it with the teams riding there tonight. The dire performances of both the Swedes and the Danes was tesimony to that, with GB being equally as dire. I was expecting the 'spirit' to tell me who would win the meeting as it often does. As I said, 'My belief is they will score 48 points for some reason. This figure sticks in my mind'. Of course it was GB I was hoping would win by that figure. In fact 48 was the points number that Poland scored and with which they actually won the meeting.

I believe Great Britain have it within themselves to win. My belief is they will score 48 points for some reason. This figure sticks in my mind. I think all the teams are on a par with each other with all the riders being quite capable of beating each other on the whole. It is in the promoters interests to run a fair meeting and prepare the track for all the riders to perform at their best. With that thought in mind, may the best team win. I believe it will in fact be Great Britain the one least likely to succeed in most peoples eyes.

Actually its the immortal Tomasz Gollob to get it precisely right.

It sure is

Unlucky or what??? >>> I didn’t even have time to alter my ego >>> spin into my colourful Halifax jumper >>> and make a cuppa tea >>> before a newly baptised and confirmed Belle Vue supporting nephew arrives >>> to watch his favourite rider >>> ‘cos unluckily for him >>> and th’australians of course>>> Jason’s not riding. The unlucky Crump >>> who ought to have taken advantage of this bit of luck >>> (if you think about it) >>> has contracted GB Maximum-Man’s lucky race winning bug >>> sick or what >>> eh >>> how??? But Jason >>> unluckily >>> felt too ill to take advantage of GB Maximum-Man’s lucky sickness bug >>>> (Not to be confused with that sick Millennium Bug) >>> and unluckily for th’australian stayed in bed. All this bad luck eh >>> and t’meetings not even started yet!!!!! Blimey O’Riley!!!! ‘Who’s riding tonight’ >>> asks already disgruntled nephew?? Th’unlucky Danes >>> th’unlucky Poles >>> th’un lucky Australians >>> (luckily you already know that) >>>> and th’incredibly unlucky Czechs. Wit’ pundits having already decided that th’unlucky Australians were going to be the th’unluckiest team on show >>> and would inevitably go out of the t’World Cup >>> and wit’ lucky Danes set to capitalise on th’australians bad luck >>> and wit’ lucky Poles on a track they’ve practiced on for a month >>> in a meeting that’s probably been fiddled for them to win anyway >>> On with the Motley !!!!! Heat 1. Hampel wins from gate (T’other three had no luck in their efforts to catch up with Hampel) Australia 0 Denmark 2 Poland 3 Czechs 1 Heat 2. Holta first. ‘I don’t agree with him riding for Poland’ quoth Kelv Holta’s luck is in and he his >>> eh >>> what?? Australia 1 Denmark 4 Poland 6 Czechs 1 Heat 3. Gollob brilliant win >>> great tussle between Andersen and Sullivan. How are you managing without Jason Crump asks the lovely Sophie??? >>> her of the profound intellectual in depth question. Jason who?? >>> ripostes Ryan >>> with tongue firmly in cheek >>> eh >>> what? (‘Sarky or what’, quoth disgruntled nephew??? ‘Watt’ll be riding instead of Crumpie’, chortles Uncle Mr. Clemens). Australia 3 Denmark 5 Poland 9 Czechs 1 Heat 4. Tricky Nicki first Th’equally cheeky and lucky Nicki moves at start. ‘Race should have been stopped’ quoth Kelv >>> but it wasn’t >>> was it > >> eh?? ‘Hungarian referee’s eh >>> where did they get HIM from’ gasps Kelv???? (Hungary of course, where else Kelvin)??? That cheeky Leigh Adams moved too but in the heat of the moment >>> myopic pundits didn’t notice till end of th’race. Australia 5 Denmark 8 Poland 10 Czechs1 TV pundit interviews Neil Middleditch ‘Are all of Team GB here tonight’ asks TV pundit? ‘Not all of them’, says Team Manager. ‘Unluckily Lee Richardson can’t find his way to Wroclaw’, quoth Mr. Middleditch, ‘Though he’s been here many times before’. ‘Perhaps he’s mislaid GB Maximum-Man’s lucky sickness bug’, says the nervous TV pundit. ‘No, no, no’, chuckles mildly amused Mr. Middleditch, ‘He loaned it to Jason Crump for tonight’s meeting >>> but Lee’s reliably informed me that it’s safely tucked up in it’s rightful place >>> his stomach >>> don’t worry’. Heat 5. Jonno excluded for not making contact with a bouncing Czech >>> Unlucky!!! Walosek wins rerun (Out of luck Czech comes in second behind fast gating Walosek >>>> Lucky!!! Australia 5 Denmark 9 Poland 13 Czechs 3 Heat 6. Walosek wins again TV pundit Sophie collars Walosek in the pits. ‘I don’t think he understands what I am saying’ grins the sophisticated, intellectual Sophie. (‘Does anyone’, wonders Uncle Mr. Clemens)??? Australia 7 Denmark 10 Poland 16 Czechs 3 Heat 7. Iversen first ‘That’s a surprising result’ quoth TV pundit Nigel Pearson (That’s because the fast gating out of luck Adams >>> is where he wasn’t expected to be >>> back in third place >>> unlucky!!!). Australia 8 Denmark 13 Poland 18 Czechs 3 Heat 8. Andersen wins ‘He’s a real battler is Jonno’ quoth Kelv >>> as th’unlucky australian goes round the inside but is overtaken by Andersen and Holta. Australia 9 Denmark 16 Poland 20 Czechs 3 Super Sophie interviews Boycie ‘You’re really missing Jason tonight’, aren’t you’, Sophie asks a disgruntled th’aussie Team manager? ‘When will you use the joker’? ‘I don’t know yet’, said th’australian manager, ‘but we certainly could have done with that GB Maximum-Man’s lucky sickness bug tonight’!!! Heat 9. Brilliant Gollob win ‘I wonder what he will have to say about that’, asks TV pundit Nigel >>> as Watt almost puts tricky Dane Nicki through t’fence??? ‘It’s been a tough race all round’ quoth Kelv, ‘luckily speedway riders are tough’!!! ‘You have to remember that Andersen rides for ‘Rotslav’ says th’informative Kelvin. (It’s Vrocslav Kelv >>> you pronounce your W’s as V’s)!!! ‘And Holta rides for Chestakova (Czestochova)’, says th’equally informative Nigel. (It’s Chelmsta-ova Nigel)!!! Australia 10 Denmark 18 Poland 23 Czechs 3 Heat 10. Pepe first ‘The Poles are laying down a psychological marker for Saturday’s final’, quoth Nigel!! (‘Where’, says disgruntled nephew ‘I can’t see it’)??? Australia 12 Denmark 19 Poland 26 Czechs 3 Heat 11. Adams brilliant win Superb race between Adams and Holta >>> no luck involved in this race. Australia 15 Denmark 20 Poland 28 Czechs 3 Heat 12. Gollob marches on ‘Is that Jason’s bike you were on’, asks fact finding TV pundit Sophie??? ‘I couldn’t possibly comment’, says th’rueful th’australian Jonno!!! (I wonder if Jason knows about that’, quoth wicked old myopic Mr. Clemens??? ‘He does now’, says a still disgruntled Belle Vue supporting nephew)!!! Australia 16 Denmark 20 Poland 31 Czechs 5 Heat 13. Adams >>> Protasiewicz >>> Andersen >> > Rymel Adams >>> a brilliant double points win ‘Meetings come alive’ quoth Kelv!!!! ‘Boycie got it right’, quoth Nigel!!! (Unluckily for th’danes >>> th’australians are ahead >>> without a th’world champ >>> with nothing else to hang around for >>> but who still couldn’t be bothered to wait for’t GB Maximum-Man’s lucky sickness bug to kick in)!!! Australia 22 Denmark 21 Poland 33 Czechs 5 Heat 14. Walosek >>> Shields >>> Nicki >>> in a thriller ‘With all due respect to Shields’ quoth TV Pundit Nigel ‘but he was lucky to beat Nicki Pedersen’. ‘Shields, brilliant reactions’, contradicts a more astute Kelvin!!! Australia 24 Denmark 22 Poland 36 Czechs 5 Heat 15. Hampel wins from Bjarne Pedersen >>> Sullivan >>> Ales Drymel Sullivan and Bjarne tussle with each other throughout >>> the Dane comes second ‘Bjarne Pedersen just had the legs there’, quoth TV pundit Nigel as Bjarne crosses the line just ahead of Sullivan. (‘What’s ‘just had the legs there’ mean’, asks a now perplexed and still disgruntled Belle Vue supporting nephew??? ‘It’s highly sophisticated technical TV jargon for summat that only th’educated Public School boys like Kelvin understands’, replies wicked old Uncle Mr Clemens. ‘Good job for th’danes though that Bjarne Pedersen’s got some lucky legs isn’t it? They might very well come in handy on Saturday night when they come up against GB Maximum-Man’s lucky sickness bug’). Australia 24 Denmark 23 Poland 39 Czechs 7 Heat 16. Tricky Nicki in for Bjerre. Shields rolls and almost touches tapes as race stopped with all four riders back in. ‘How lucky is that’, quoth Kelv??? Rerun Fantastic classic race between Nicki and Tomas Gollob, Pedersen wins on the line. ‘Pedersen has got the legs’, quoth expert TV pundit Pearson >>> eh >>> what??? (That’s two Danes that’s got legs now, I wonder if Nick’s borrowed Bjarne’s legs or has he got a pair of his own’, ripostes a wicked old Uncle to a bemused, perplexed, disgruntled nephew)? In order to discover the secret of these mysterious lucky Danish legs, for’t speedway viewing millions, roving TV pundit Sophie, corners an ice packed tricky Nicki Pedersen in’t pits. ‘Why are you wearing an ice pack Nicki’, asks the beaming Sophie? ‘It’s an old arm injury and the blood can’t pump through to my hand’, Nicki smiled. ‘But it’s a good job I have my lucky Danish legs. As long as the blood keeps on pumping through them I will be all right’. ‘You’re a real trouper’, Sophie giggled, in reply. ‘Tomas Gollob looks angry with his mechanic’, observes TV pundit Nigel. ‘I wonder what he’s saying to him’. ‘I don’t know I can’t speak Polish’, Kelvin replies. (In order to throw clarity on Gollob’s conversation with his mechanic, Mr Clemens called upon his Polish speaking, mother in law, for the translation into English. She kindly obliged and reliably informed him this is exactly what Tomas said. ‘Where was my pair of lucky Polish racing legs when I needed them, that’s what I want to know?? Tell me goddamn you’!!! ‘Rune Holta’s got ‘em on’, replied Tomas’ disgruntled mechanic!!! Australia 24 Denmark 26 Poland 41 Czechs 8 Heat 17. Pepe >>> Iversen >>> Sullivan Pepe shoots past a fast gating Iversen ‘Protasiewicz didn’t deserve to hit the front there’, quoth Kelv >> eh >>> what >>> why???? Iversen scraps with Sullivan but keeps in him third place. ‘Iversen’s got the legs on Sullivan’, quoth Nigel >>> eh >>> what >>> how?? (Where would th’danes be without their lucky legs’, chuckled wicked old Uncle Mr. Clemens across to his bemused, perplexed, disgruntled nephew)??? Australia 25 Denmark 28 Poland 44 Czechs 8 Heat 18. Walosek >>> Adams >>> Andersen >>> Ales Dryml Adams brilliant battle with Andersen ‘Brilliant’ raves Kelv, ‘this is what speedway’s all about’. (Is that why we watch it’, comments disgruntled nephew with a painful grimace!!! ‘Kelv obviously made this astute observation to remind all us supporters why we watch speedway in the first place. But I see Pearson failed to mention t’ fact that Andersen wasn’t armed with his pair of lucky Danish legs though’, chuckled Uncle Mr Clemens)!!! Australia 27 Denmark 29 Poland 47 Czechs 8 Heat 19. Tricky Nicky >> Johnson >>> Hampel >>> Topinka Jonno brilliant cut up the inside to head the race >> Nicki passes him end of lap one. (Unfortunately for th’australians this is their last bit of luck for the rest of the night). ‘If Poles win they will be awarded 100,000 zlotys’, quoth Pearson!!! (That’s zwoties Nigel you pronounce the L as a W). ‘I wish I was a Pole >>> Holta his’ chortles Kelvin!!! Kelvin almost chokes >>> has he realises what he just said!!!! Australia 29 Denmark 32 Poland 48 Czechs 8 Heat 20. Andersen double points win >> Holta >>Lucas Dryml >> Sullivan (for Watt) >> eh? Andersen super gate >>> Holta chases all the way. (‘Who needs lucky Danish legs’, says Hans, ‘some of us don’t’)!!! Australia 29 Denmark 38 Poland 50 Czechs 9 TV pundit interviews Lee Richardson who finally remembered where Wroclaw was. ‘I’m not nervous about Saturday’, says Lee. ‘I was too ill to think about the racing on Sunday. But I know I will be sick enough to race on Saturday as I have brought my GB Maximum-Man’s lucky sickness bug with me. It’s safely tucked away in my stomach. And anyway if Screenie’s had a shave it should prove to everyone that we’re all committed to a Team GB World Cup win on Sunday, beyond a 5 o clock shadow of doubt!!!! Heat 21. Pepe >>> Ales Dryml >>> Bjerre >>> Johnson Johnson boxed in on first corner by Dryml. ‘Jonno could have come off there, lucky he shut off at the last moment’, quoth Kelv. ‘Otherwise he would have been unlucky >>> if not he would have clipped Dryml’s back wheel >>> things could have turned ugly!!! Australia 29 Denmark 39 Poland 53 Czechs 11 Heat 22. Walosek >>> Iversen >>> Lucas Dryml >>> Watt Walosek passes Dryml round the boards >>> determined to get his maximum. ‘Breathe in boys’, yells Kelvin!!! Australia 29 Denmark 41 Poland 56 Czechs 13 Heat 23. Andersen >>> Lucas Dryml >>> Hampel >>> Shields Andersen forces his way past Dryml to a great win. ‘It’s all academic now’, quoth Pearson, in an aside to Public school boy Kelvin!!! (They must think it’s all over’, chuckled Uncle Mr. Clemens). Australia 29 Denmark 44 Poland 57 Czechs 15 Heat 24. Holta >>> Tricky Nicki >>> Rymel >>> Sullivan Nicki hits a hole thrown across track shoots past Holta who brilliantly repasses Pedersen for a great win. ‘Nicky almost stepped off the bike on his right leg’, quoth Pearson!!! (‘Good job he’s on his lucky legs’, chortles Uncle Mr. Clemens) Australia 29 Denmark 46 Poland 60 Czechs 16 Heat 25. Gollob >>> Bjarne Pedersen >>> Adams >> Suchanek Brilliant racing from Adams and Gollob but Czech bounces out of race. Rerun Gollob from the gate passed by BP >>> Gollob flies by BP on his way to a fine win. Australia 30 Denmark 48 Poland 63 Czechs 16 Now for the Grand Final along with all those lucky finalists. Lucky Great Britain > (and their GB Maximum-Man’s lucky sickness bug) Lucky Sweden >>>> (and their lucky th’world champ in waiting) Lucky Denmark >>> (and their cheeky little lucky Danish legs) Lucky Poland >>>> (and their lucky Norwegian Polish talisman) (Riding on their lucky favourite track >>> that they’ve all been practising on for a month >>> that will be probably be fiddled for them to win anyway) Good Luck to all of you and to all those lucky speedway supporters who will be privileged to have Kelvin Tatum and Nigel Pearson to tell us all what’s happening >>> and why >>> in case we don’t know!!! Lucky us >>> eh >>> what ???

After donning a certain colourful Halifax jumper, in a nearby public phone box, Mr Clemens transforms into his altered ego. (It’s a lot like Clark Kent turning into Superman as both these super heroes wear red and blue coloured costumes). Then sits down with his nephew for Speedway World Cup part 2. The sun is hot (as it always is) and the sky is blue. ‘Luckily’ Mr. Clemens has a refreshing cuppa tea at hand and a pen and paper to write down the scores. On with the motley!!! ‘Who’s riding tonight then’ Th’australians, Th’swedes, Th’poles and th’germans. Should be a good meeting if we’re lucky’. ‘I see Lee Richardson’s riding for Sweden tonight. Has he been given licence to do that??? I just can’t keep up with this international merry go round. All these riders swapping countries at the drop of a clutch’!!! ‘Put yer glasses on Uncle Mr. Clemens that’s Tony not Lee’. ‘I didn’t know Lee had a brother which league team does he ride for’? ‘No yer daft old myopic Uncle, it’s Tony Rickardsson th’world champion in waiting’. ‘Have you found out what he’s waiting for yet’>>??? ‘Just sup yer tea Uncle and shurrup meeting’s abart to start’. Heat 1. Adam’s wins from the gate, slick start from Leigh. (Nowt lucky about that eh?) Australia 3 Sweden 1 Poland 2 Germany 0 Heat 2. Protasiewicz wins in second processional race (No luck for AJ he can’t catch him though he tries hard to do so. Ryan’s off the pace again, it seems as though th’australia will be right out of luck tonight). Australia 4 Sweden 3 Poland 5 Germany 0 Heat 3. Holta first, T/R can’t catch him, Crump looking slow (Lucky that t’poles chose him to ride for them eh >>> what??) Australia 5 Sweden 5 Poland 8 Germany 0 Heat 4. Hampel around them all comfortable win. (Th’poles again, luckily they are well prepared for this meeting). Australia 6 Sweden 7 Poland 11 Germany 0 Heat 5. Gollob on fire back to his old self. (We could see Tomas at his best tonight >>> if we’re lucky) Australia 7 Sweden 9 Poland 14 Germany 0 Phase one was all very processional. Looks like our luck’s out for tonight’s meeting. Where’s the excitement of Sunday night that’s what I want to know !!! Lucky for this lot GB’s not in town tonight we’d give t’poles a run for their zlotys. Shurrup daft old Uncle the best is always yet to come. Heat 6. T/R cool as a cucumber Shields makes neat pass over Kasprzak. (Lucky for th’australia that Shields manages to keep them in touch. Lucky for th’swedes th’world champion in waiting wasn’t waiting for anyone in that race). Australia 9 Sweden 12 Poland 15 Germany 0 Heat 7. Karlsson an untroubled first. (Watt lucky not to fall off his bike has Protasiewicz almost fences him on the back straight. Luckily th’new th’australian manager didn’t think of using th’joker >>> eh >>>> Watt???) Australia 10 Sweden 15 Poland 17 Germany 0 Heat 8. Adams smooth as silk. (Lucky Lingren creeps at gate Adam’s round him in a trice. Unlucky Holta 3rd). Australia 13 Sweden 17 Poland 18 Germany 0 Heat 9. Hampel wins. (Lucky for th’poles they’ve someone coming up to take over Tomas’s mantel. Lucky for th’germans that Sullivan back pedals to last. Kelvin said th’germans might be lucky to score a point tonight. Luckily for th’germans Sullivan was unlucky). Australia 13 Sweden 19 Poland 21 Germany 1 What’s a mantel wicked old ancient Uncle? It’s a ‘piece’ upon which you put your clock. Heat 10. AJ flies from gate to win. (Luckily for th’australians AJ shuts off unlucky Gollob’s way through on t’back straight. Jason lucky to pick up an extra point he would be lucky to have otherwise). Australia 15 Sweden 22 Poland 22 Germany 1 Heat 11. Crump scores 6 points. (New th’australian manager with a lucky second opportunity to use joker comes up trumps. Unlike unlucky new Danish manager who chanced his luck t’other night by missing his chance to use his joker. Lucky for GB that happened >>> eh >> what??? Luckily Boycie has th’world champion to call upon. Jason having nothing to wait for heads off into the sunset). Australia 21 Sweden 23 Poland 24 Germany 1 Heat 12. Shield great win (Lucky for us a great race) Australia 24 Sweden 25 Poland 25 Germany 1 Heat 13. Holta licenced to win (Lindback almost touches tapes. Luckily for th’swedes Polish referee puts all four riders back in). ‘Lindback was lucky not to be excluded’, quoth Kelv. (Lucky Lindback out of gate first, in the rerun, passing and repassing with Holta. A great race. Unluckily for Lindback Holta pulls away and crosses the line first.) Australia 24 Sweden 27 Poland 28 Germany 2 Heat 14. Adams on top form. (Hampel and AJ fight it out in a real tussle for the minor places. Lucky for us these two are well prepared to mix it with each other). Australia 27 Sweden 28 Poland 30 Germany 2 Heat 15. Gollob wins thriller against TR. (Pundits can’t decide who won. ‘Photo finish’, growls Millard. Though it’s obvious to any myopic, senile, ancient, wicked old Uncle that Gollob crossed the line first). ‘Do you think Gollob’s luck will be in, there being a Polish referee’, quoth Millard? (Th’germans unlucky that Sullivan didn’t back pedal to last this time). Australia 28 Sweden 30 Poland 33 Germany 2 Heat 16. AJ super smooth win. (Lucky 2 points for Watt as Kasprzak looks down on power). Australia 30 Sweden 33 Poland 34 Germany 2 Heat 17. T/R as his brilliant best. (Nowt lucky about that). Australia 31 Sweden 36 Poland 36 Germany 2 Heat 18 Interesting conundrum Holta boxed in and falls after clipping PK’s back wheel. (A dilemma for th’polish referee? Will he won’t he, will he won’t he, exclude a Norwegian Pole???? Gor blimey and lord luv a duck, unlucky Holta is thrown out of the rerun. How unlucky is that and just when th’poles and th’swedes thought their luck was in with Ryan in this race). ‘He could have taken the easy option and put all four back in the rerun’, quoth Kelv. ‘Perhaps the referee excluded him cos he was a non Polish Pole’, mused th’wicked minded pundits? Sullivan wins rerun!!!!! (Luckily for th’australians Ryan had a fast bike tucked away. Th’germans pick up a lucky 3rd point as luckily there wasn’t any Poles in the race). Australia 34 Sweden 38 Poland 36 Germany 3 Heat 19. Hampel first (Hampel gates, luckily Crump passes Lingren but can’t catch Hampel) Australia 36 Sweden 39 Poland 39 Germany 3 Heat 20. Gollob at his brilliant best (Lindback gates Gollob passes him with his classic style of overtaking. How lucky we are that Tomas can still turn it on when he feels in the mood to do so). Australia 37 Sweden 41 Poland 42 Germany 3 Heat 21 Flyin’ Ryan on fire wins again (Luckily for th’australians, th’poles decide to put Kasprzak out on th’fastest bike they have Holta’s)!!! ‘Is that a wise move’, quoth Kelv? ‘Is it wise to go out in such an important race on a bike that is foreign to anything you have ridden previously in the meeting. (Luckily we have Kelvin to guide us mere mortals through’t th’intricate parts of a meeting with astute comments such as this. Unluckily for Kasprzak, Kelv was right again as he struggles to pass th’german. Luckily he does so by the end of the race). Australia 40 Sweden 43 Poland 43 Germany 3 Heat 22. Crump glides brilliantly round the rest of the field to cruise to fine win. (Unlucky Pepe’s bike packs up). ‘Are the Poles running out of luck’ quoth Kelv??? ‘Are they ‘throwing the meeting to ensure stadium’s got 40,000 fans there instead of 40 at the race off on Thursday’, speculate wicked minded pundit’s??? Australia 43 Sweden 45 Poland 43 Germany 4 Heat 23. AJ wins in comfort. (Great tussle between Shields and Holta passing and repassing each other providing the best race of the night. We were more than lucky to see that one. Great race). Australia 45 Sweden 48 Poland 44 Germany 4 Heat 24. Controversy has Hampel causes German rider to fall but who is at fault>??? ‘Tony was lucky not to be excluded’ quoth Kelv, ‘very fortunate indeed’. ‘Perhaps fortunate’, quoth Millard, ‘but on the other hand perhaps he was simply elbowing Hampel out of the way as the Pole seemed to be laying down on T/R’. ‘I think Tony is lucky he is who is’, quoth Kelv, ‘otherwise I think he would have been excluded. Luckily for him he wasn’t’. Heat 24. Rerun T/R cruises home. Watt 2nd >>> eh? Hampel a lame 3rd. ‘Hampel seemed subdued’ quoth Millard ‘perhaps he’s learned the error of his ways’. Australia 47 Sweden 51 Poland 45 Germany 4 Heat 25. Now known to one and all as the luckiest race of the night Luckily, because T/R was lucky not to be excluded in the last race, the unlucky 3rd placed Hampel was in fact lucky to come in third because the lucky Poles were now luckily 6 points behind the unlucky Swedes and were now lucky to be able to use their joker. Lucky or what >>> eh ??? You can’t get luckier than that can you?? ‘If Gollob wins this’ quoth Kelvin, ‘and PK is unlucky enough to come in last, we shall have a race off between Sweden and Poland. But PK knows what he’s doing and if he rides the race we know he can then Poland will finally run out of luck’. What >>> wait >>> who >>>> how >>>> why >>>> eh >>> who’s this? What’s Smolinski doing out front???? ‘Lucky or what’ quoth Kelv, ‘Smolinski moved at the gate, the ref should have stopped it and restarted as it put off PK’s concentration. Unlucky’!!! Luckily for Gollob the Polish referee didn’t stop the race. The unlucky PK was now stranded at the back of the field. Gollob was going like lightening but unluckily for him Leigh Adams was in front!!! No matter how hard he rode Gollob was right out of luck trying every which way to pass Adams. Great race. ‘You know’, gasped the excited Kelvin to Tony Millard, ‘Sweden have been lucky to win here tonight’. ‘Lucky Sweden’, quoth Kelvin, at th’end of a great night of speedway racing. (Tony Rickardsson and the rest of the Swedish team were last seen riding off into th’sunset singing ‘lucky, lucky, I should be so lucky’). ‘We’ve been lucky to see such a good meeting tonight Uncle Mr Clemens’, said satisfied nephew, ‘I can’t wait till Thursday night for t’race off’. (Knowing most of all of this had nowt to do with luck at all, Mr Clemens gave his nephew a stern look as he took off his colourful Halifax jumper). ‘Yep’ said Mr Clemens, ‘I imagine it will be a great meeting too, what with ‘th’unlucky Danes, th’unlucky Poles, th’unlucky Australians and the Czechs, who really haven’t had any luck at all, it should be a good meeting. Put kettle on and make another cuppa tea’.

In these circumstances I believe a person has a choice to make. When that choice is made then they have to stick to it. There will always be anomalies of this nature. I am thinking more though of those who have definite countries of orign, whose parents are of that nationality, having lived in that country all their lives. Also if the laws of the country of origin have connections to another country > Tasmania and Australia for instance > then it is lawful for the person to represent their country of origin. In my opinion if that person becomes a citizen of another country and lives there permanently then they are legally entitled to ride for that other country. But how many revert to their country of origin when it suits their purposes??

Thank you for the detailed answer > much appreciated.